The "I'm not doing so well" thread

brocklanders023

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Any chance of a change of job mate? My wife was really struggling at work and not necessarily the workload but the pressure of responsibility for people and a boss that just didn't understand people and emotions. She has also suffered from anxiety and had a real low at the begging of the year after lowering her meds.

She finished today and starts a new job on Monday. It's given her a huge lift and she's got her spark back so maybe a change is what you need? Not always easy but worth looking in to?
 

retrobikeguy

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Times are shit, we are all generally quite negative as the winter draws in and I don't like people at the best of times, for me, work has a new boss that has set unrealistic targets on building bikes and sales targets of ££££s a day, it's getting to that point were push push push will be just two fingers and walk, I just don't need it! At the mo tho my escape is the local with the dog for a few pints, have a chat with the bar staff and banter with locals whom I know by face and seating position, I don't have to interact with folk if I don't want to but they are a nice escape from everything, don't get me wrong, I love my home life but the burden of my job is not theirs ....and they have their own issues to deal with (long story (s))

It's funny but most problems I can deal with inside without having to bother others, but just sometimes I have to rant to someone random, they listen, they put their perspective on it.... And it feels better, "a problem shared".

I sleep, repeat and realise I have a beer belly... Poo

@longun you're always welcome over for a coffee/beer and a rant, you know that.
 

legrandefromage

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My lunacy and ups and downs are well documented

It is not the best time of year for many, the impending clock changes mean lack of daylight at either end of the working day and add to that the lack of physical sunlight can really screw the systems up.

Cooking and keeping the house clean whilst the other half works from home means I have distractions so dont sink too far into myself

There is no real answer but just the plain old 'do what makes you happy' can help - favourite music, daft TV, films etc. Bashing innocent bicycles around that big shed etc.

It is 'only' 4 months or so until the first tentative signs of spring - if you can navigate that with some semblance of sanity, summer will be a breeze in every sense of the word.
 

2manyoranges

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Longun: hang on in there - you have a big following here and a lot of life to share with people. What would we do without your sideways take on things?
And the offer from History Man is a really good one.
If you can visit the good times.....there was a golden day in the early 80's when I was following Ant down into a hidden valley way out on the Downs. The almost too-green grass was tall enough to hide my feet and the gradient big enough to barrel at full tilt. And boy, the air was summer-warm.....
It's a moment - as you can tell - that I never forget. In the grim times I go back to it. And to others like it. And I want them again. So I make them: this season in Wales with Ant and my son Alex; two weekends ago sitting with Alex after a jump session in Stanmer Woods.
I felt very low going into last winter - but I determined to keep riding, and now the worst, most painful rides are actually on the list of 'good times'....a February sufferfest at minus 5 around Thetford on a Sunday morning....thumbs of wood. A muddy ride with Ant where the wheels stopped going round because of the accumulations. Both rides, on the surface, were rubbish, on days when I was tempted to stay in...but goodness they were worth it.
As Autumn came, I just kept riding...and riding...and riding...when my brain was shouting 'no' and my emotions were at a very low ebb...
I came into Spring fitter than I have been for years...with my self-image bolstered and with drive to get things done. It worked. Riding as therapy. With friends. With family. With Self.
And as age accumulates, I try not to let myself dwell too much on it. At 30 I was F A S T...and you know what, at 63 now I am still pretty damn quick....last month I got depressed since I could hear a guy getting close to me in uphill single track, so I pressed hard and slowly eked out a lead. Thing is, when he popped out at the top he was on an E-bike. Me = 10. Him = 0.
Keep the pedals turning Longun.
 
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MR OX

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Times are shit, we are all generally quite negative as the winter draws in and I don't like people at the best of times, for me, work has a new boss that has set unrealistic targets on building bikes and sales targets of ££££s a day, it's getting to that point were push push push will be just two fingers and walk, I just don't need it! At the mo tho my escape is the local with the dog for a few pints, have a chat with the bar staff and banter with locals whom I know by face and seating position, I don't have to interact with folk if I don't want to but they are a nice escape from everything, don't get me wrong, I love my home life but the burden of my job is not theirs ....and they have their own issues to deal with (long story (s))

It's funny but most problems I can deal with inside without having to bother others, but just sometimes I have to rant to someone random, they listen, they put their perspective on it.... And it feels better, "a problem shared".

I sleep, repeat and realise I have a beer belly... Poo

@longun you're always welcome over for a coffee/beer and a rant, you know that.
I’m so with you here, before I moved my local gave me so many great friends who understood what I was going through as they’d been through it.
 

longun

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Any chance of a change of job mate? My wife was really struggling at work and not necessarily the workload but the pressure of responsibility for people and a boss that just didn't understand people and emotions. She has also suffered from anxiety and had a real low at the begging of the year after lowering her meds.

She finished today and starts a new job on Monday. It's given her a huge lift and she's got her spark back so maybe a change is what you need? Not always easy but worth looking in to?
It’s on the cards but the seesaw is very well balanced at times, I’ll have the home paid of in less than 3 years so that will ease the need, although I did look at bike shop job but they’re open 7 days a week...........at least lecturing is only 5
 

My_Teenage_Self

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I can only echo what everyone else has said really, but, there's no reason to come off meds if they work for you.

We're coming out of a very strange 2 years, into winter... it's shite.

coronavirus, brexit, rubbish summer, into winter, blokes in their 40s/50s, we're a bunch prime for breakdowns, depression, and sadly, suicide. We're still not talking enough about the fact that it's the biggest killer of middle aged men in the UK.

Chris, you're not alone. I've been working insane hours since Covid started, haven't ridden a bike in over a year now, my wife was working from home for 18 months and didn't do well. Our dog died in march etc.etc. I've been in the same (very niche) job for 20 years, and the only progression possible for me means more stress/headaches. so I'm likely to be in the same job for the next 20 years again.

Make a change, talk to you wife, don't be afraid to cry. Reach out. Take up a new hobby. one of the best things I did recently was getting a forge and learning smithing. It's not for everyone, but the concentration needed blocks out the rest of the world. The flip side is I can't get on a bike at the moment (nothing physical, I just can't bring myself to do it).

#virtualmanhugs
 
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