Followed the above story and linked to another BBC story about a tracking and recovery service called backpedal - I'll let you find them if you're interested enough but the deal doesn't look too bad if your bike(s) are at high risk or you rely on them for income etc...
Before this gets cut down I thought I'd offer for swaps here for our tall people.
Very tidy, few small marks but if I keep them I would service as I don't know when it was last done. 100mm travel with air springs so not usual bomber weight.
Would swap for a nice light rigid fork around 420...
If you just want to test sockets you can buy dedicated socket testers inexpensively, alternatively you can also buy cheap non contact volt sticks / detector pens which are very useful (just be sure to test before use on a known live supply).
I've bought quite a few moderate to nice bikes with chain damaged spokes so you could also look at them as cheap / lightweight insurance.
Hold on, I'm talking myself into buying a bulk order from TEMU! 🤔
Choice of anodised colour or possibly produced in murky yellow translucent plastic to look original?
Teeth around the perimeter to fool people into thinking you're running 8 speed?
Dual use as a coaster / beer mat?
.....