Pass me the shotgun!

[Harryburgundy]

Pass me the shotgun!
or
A day in the Life of a Wine Retailer (or any other retailer I should imagine).

Customer Do you (erm, actually I just said hello to you, where I come from it's nice to say hello back...never-mind) Do you sell xyz wine?
HB No, sorry, we don't. To be honest I have never heard of it. Maybe I can help. What type of wine is it?
Customer A litre
HB No (feigning a smile) how does it taste?
Customer Oh....fine.
Click , click...boom

Non-customer shouting from the doorway whilst I serve a real customer What time do the shops shut?
HB Well..... I shut at 7pm
Non-customer No, what about HMV ?
Click, click

Customer I want a rose wine
HB Here...we have a large selection of rose wines...what style would you like
Customer I want a pink rose!
Oh feck it.....stab, stab, stab with waiters friend....I'm doing the gene pool a favour!

 

[Grannygrinder]

.

Keep up the good work ,you are doing us all a favour.

 

[Tad]

It could have been worse, you could have had to do another risk asessment. I'm sure we all remember the blood bath that particular episode nearly induced!

 

[dyna-ti]

You should get some buckfast in HB,quite a popular tipple by all accounts.

 

[Harryburgundy]

You should get some buckfast in HB,quite a popular tipple by all accounts.

Why I oughta! :evil:



On the plus side did have a customer who bought two bottles of Pommard, two bottles of Chassagne Montrachet and a bottle of whisky

HB That will be £230 sir....thankyou

 

[fingers]

You should get some buckfast in HB,quite a popular tipple by all accounts.

Why I oughta! :evil:



On the plus side did have a customer who bought two bottles of Pommard, two bottles of Chassagne Montrachet and a bottle of whisky

HB That will be £230 sir....thankyou

He's having a blinder tonight... Did he buy a fat cigar too ?

 

[dyna-ti]

Whats the most expensive wine you carry ,outside the champagnes?HB
I've heard £80 is the usual for a very good BOW up to hundreds for excellent.
I think the least ive spent is about £30 ,but i drink about 2 a year so think i might as well find something nice

 

[Lysander]

You should get some buckfast in HB,quite a popular tipple by all accounts.

Why I oughta! :evil:



On the plus side did have a customer who bought two bottles of Pommard, two bottles of Chassagne Montrachet and a bottle of whisky

HB That will be £230 sir....thankyou

And I'll wager he didnae need tae find out the distance of the far end of a fart before he purchased, neether!!
I hate silly twats in shops- thank feck I don't have to deal mit der eejits any more......

 

[Harryburgundy]

Whats the most expensive wine you carry ,outside the champagnes?HB
I've heard £80 is the usual for a very good BOW up to hundreds for excellent.
I think the least ive spent is about £30 ,but i drink about 2 a year so think i might as well find something nice

In-store around £80 is our limit (although I do have a secret stash of 95 Mouton at £350 a pop if a suit is getting loud and large in front of his girlfriend ).
Most expensive I have recently sold is £770 for DMC Echezeaux...the company have some seriously expensive wine in Paris....just think of number...and double it....and add a zero
Seriously...£30 is strong money for a really good bottle chosen well. When you get into the big money its more about prestige and exclusivity etc

 

[Mr Panda]

Popped into the SPAR shop on Islay last summer. OK big whisky island.
But a SPAR with bottles of whisky at £1,000 (I KID YOU NOT) :shock: :shock: :shock:

Had to ask if they sold many - apparently yes - to tourists

OK it was in a box but £1,000 :shock: :shock: :shock:
Obvioulsy they had a range of the stuff down to ten quid or so........less if you hang arond the distillery doors at 2am :twisted: