Has anyone had any luck packing a bike into a very ornamental antique wooden box, with intricate carvings that could easily be misconstrued as anciently religious? I would alongside it leave a handcrafted leather book with concerning curses that may ensue the pea-brained, thickskulled humanoid that may attempt to open it? Are there protections for religious items being shipped? Can we form a religion, named after a wide selection of obscure bike components from the 80's and 90's?
...........well, in a way you are not too far off. Pre-EU, the way to get a Campag gruppo was to downgrade your favourite frame with winter shit bike parts, take the boat over to France, take a touring holiday in the Alps, handover your deceased grand mothers jewellery stuffed in the handlebars (or even better your living mother in-laws jewellery), the two wrist watches, bundled cash notes in any currency to the closest Italian LBS inside the border who wouldn't bat an eyelid. Was then a simple matter of swapping the bits out at the camp site using your trusty tool roll, then starting the return journey.
Commonly known as smuggling, I'd imagine today it can still be done, but would guess it is more difficult at airports and you probably could expect some Q&As about the bike box at CPH if you decided to "forget" to declare it.
Not forgetting of course it will be completely destroyed by Ryanair, so I reckon you need more drink to think it though a bit more
Does Airbnd not offer some sort of cabin on a north sea oil platform which could serve as an half-way international trading zone with a secure helicopter service?
You could also turn it around, stick a wanted add in the appropriate section offering free board and lodgings and a guided DK bike ride for a "tourist" courier with the mission to deliver some bike tat. I doubt customs at CPH would bother asking "were is your bike" when leaving the country.*
Now as much as I appreciate your reminiscing of ol' timey smuggling, and I admit I have been lacking action in my life for the last decade, I think the modernised times call for a more strict and limiting approach to bringing forbidden goods abroad. I fear my idea of simply stuffing the complete bike into my good portmanteau may not suffice as 'hand luggage' either. And with the Ryan Air baggage fees it may be time to start considering selling my kidney.
A cabin on the north sea, on an oil platform, may prove most fruitful of the many intriguing options. Though, with the frame being steel and all I fear corrosion may arise swiftly as a problem. Also how long would I have to live there? And I doubt there's a complimentary bed and breakfast service involved.
But of course, of all the incredibly sobering ideas you've had, the last is perhaps the most ingenious. I could show you our many great sights, such as flat fields, marshes, shrubbery and the occasional good firm tree. Any takers? Bevvy for breakfast, crisps for lunch and to prevent the dreaded malnutrition, a fruit of your choice - provided you can climb over the fence to collect it from the neighbours garden.
