Help me not get financially ruined

Imlach

Imlach

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Help.
I've done something utterly stupid, I bought a bike again and to make matters worse it's from the UK, which means that the meanies at the sorting centre will open it and charge me an arm, a leg, a finger and a toe. Fella will pack it down into a bike box, he'll give me the weight and so on later.. What are some good companies that you Brits have used to ship to EU?

I looked at this website Parcelmonkey but I've no idea if it's at all good - because I have an innate fear of primates running the show after Planet of the Apes.

At this point I'm contemplating getting the guy to raft the fecking thing with two dozen or so fizzy bottles. Send it to sea off of the northeastern coast, due East, and simply take a month long vacation on the west coast of Denmark.

Knowing my luck it'd drift south and end up in the Netherlands, with the traumatising flashbacks of past conversations with people going "Oh, you're Danish, do you speak Dutch?" "Denmark? Oh I love windmills and weed, I'd love to visit Amsterdam" "Love the Dutch, I recently visited Copenhagen!"

In a delirious drunken haze I fear I may end up paying upwards of 200 pounds for a bike to be delivered.. But at this point it may be more financially sound to fly Ryan Air just to be able to go and enjoy it in this guy's garage and then return home, longingly.
 
Imlach said:
Help.
I've done something utterly stupid, I bought a bike again and to make matters worse it's from the UK, which means that the meanies at the sorting centre will open it and charge me an arm, a leg, a finger and a toe. Fella will pack it down into a bike box, he'll give me the weight and so on later.. What are some good companies that you Brits have used to ship to EU?

I looked at this website Parcelmonkey but I've no idea if it's at all good - because I have an innate fear of primates running the show after Planet of the Apes.

At this point I'm contemplating getting the guy to raft the fecking thing with two dozen or so fizzy bottles. Send it to sea off of the northeastern coast, due East, and simply take a month long vacation on the west coast of Denmark.

Knowing my luck it'd drift south and end up in the Netherlands, with the traumatising flashbacks of past conversations with people going "Oh, you're Danish, do you speak Dutch?" "Denmark? Oh I love windmills and weed, I'd love to visit Amsterdam" "Love the Dutch, I recently visited Copenhagen!"

In a delirious drunken haze I fear I may end up paying upwards of 200 pounds for a bike to be delivered.. But at this point it may be more financially sound to fly Ryan Air just to be able to go and enjoy it in this guy's garage and then return home, longingly.
Click to expand...
things must be bad if you’re contemplating Ryanair 😬
 
:LOL:

...........well, in a way you are not too far off. Pre-EU, the way to get a Campag gruppo was to downgrade your favourite frame with winter shit bike parts, take the boat over to France, take a touring holiday in the Alps, handover your deceased grand mothers jewellery stuffed in the handlebars (or even better your living mother in-laws jewellery), the two wrist watches, bundled cash notes in any currency to the closest Italian LBS inside the border who wouldn't bat an eyelid. Was then a simple matter of swapping the bits out at the camp site using your trusty tool roll, then starting the return journey.

Commonly known as smuggling, I'd imagine today it can still be done, but would guess it is more difficult at airports and you probably could expect some Q&As about the bike box at CPH if you decided to "forget" to declare it.

Not forgetting of course it will be completely destroyed by Ryanair, so I reckon you need more drink to think it though a bit more ;)

Does Airbnd not offer some sort of cabin on a north sea oil platform which could serve as an half-way international trading zone with a secure helicopter service?

You could also turn it around, stick a wanted add in the appropriate section offering free board and lodgings and a guided DK bike ride for a "tourist" courier with the mission to deliver some bike tat. I doubt customs at CPH would bother asking "were is your bike" when leaving the country.*
 
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* if it was asked, cue "it was parked at the main train station and some thieving Dutchman stole it" :LOL::LOL:
 
Living on the East coast I am fully in favour of the raft plan, then I can keep an eye out for the raft and re-direct it to a beach near me...🤫

Neils Bohr, Soren Kierkegaard, my two most favourite Lars, Von Trier and Ulrich, great actor and Hannibal Mads Mikkelsen, not to forget Bacon and Butter...😁
 
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