Performance Am I being harsh?

passiflora":1bop7gtc said:
She has a really important music exam coming up soon, so I should just take the positives.
Who's it important for, and why?

I'm no stranger to this, as I went through the whole music exams and gradings as I grew up through my teens (and this isn't a bitter take on it, my parents were always very laid back about it).

Don't get me wrong, I see the point in encouraging talent, and making sure things don't slide due to adolescent indifference or ambivalence.

That said, though, who's the success and the achievement for? If we say we just want our kids to achieve their potential, why? Is that for what we want, what we feel is best for them, or simply what we feel they should do / achieve - I have all these considerations for my own kids (although not with any musical interest so far).

I just think it's a fine line between encouraging your kids to achieve what you perceive as their potential, and competitive dad syndrome. If it's part of a big plan that your daughter has truly bought into and wants, then fair play, but if it's just a hobby with potential then maybe not being too intense is better.

With some things time may be significant - if it's en route to somewhere for adulthood - in many other cases, though, there's nothing so important about timing of focus that can't afford to be more about the experience than the achievement. I'd say that in most cases, people have the rest of their lives to achieve and enjoy their musical interests - unless, as I said, it's en-route to some academic or professional target.
 
mikee":tqym4bm4 said:
sorry but jeezus
dont take away their childhood by heaping adult problems/goals on them
underperforming ?, they have their whole life to get it right

do you want her burnt out an resentfull at 15 ?

Here here.

My eldest son (12) started to play the cornet, and according to the silver band he joined he had a natural talent, but needed to practice.

He didnt want to practice and started to not want to go to band.

Me and the wife were gutted as he was good at it and could have done well with his talent.

But, at the end of the day it is our job as parents to respect his choice and support him in all he does. He is only a child.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top