have you heard the one about...

[David B]

Bloke 1: The wife and I save a fortune on stuff for the bathroom. We get loads of freebies from a couple of people we know who work in a soap factory.

Bloke 2: Cussons?

Bloke 1: No, we're not related to them.



David

 

[Ernie]

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am...yes 2.30am, can you believe it. Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums

Ernie

 

[Andy B]

I've just been offered 8 legs of Venison for £40

Do you think that's two deer?

 

[Lysander]

*quietly goes off to unlock the cloakroom..............*

 

[jamabikes]

doctor: well mr jones, i see from your file that you cant pronounce your t's, your f's or you h's........well you cant say fairer than that.

q:how do you know when a french man has been in you garden?

a:your bins are empty and your cats pregnant.

 

[Ernie]

A female dwarf goes to the doctors, she explains that she has a itch in her {pointing to her "ladies" region}. Doctor says no problem, pop yourself on the couch. She lies on the couch..all she hears is the sound of cutting/snipping. Doctor says all done, you can get down now. The dwarf gets off the couch..she says "thats better", "good" says the doctor, what did you do ask the dwarf..doctor replies "i trimmed your ugg boots"

 

[Lysander]

................and so the sailor says "Cor lumme- I don't know if I could take another sixty seven of those........"

 

[David B]

I wouldn't say my next-door-neighbour drinks a lot, but he's got a high interest account at the local bottle bank....

David

 

[legrandefromage]

Dave, the big potato, didnt like the way the other smaller potatoes where talking about him...

 

[al]

LGF you are a one!!


al.