have you heard the one about...

[al]

The inflatable boy that took a drawing pin to his inflatable school and went on the rampage?

He was sent to the headmaster in shame. The headmaster said, not only have you let yourself down, you've let the school down, you've let your friends down.....


Sorry!

al.

 

[Bensherman]

Or

Did you hear about the man caught riding a bike made out of cannabis? He got charged with peddling drugs.


Matt

 

[02gf74]

Or the man who swallowed a stolen car battery?

He was charged.

 

[David B]

Not to mention the snooker player who refused to use anything other than a normal cue for attempting a long pot. He was done for resisting a rest.

Top tip: never buy secondhand mountaineering kit; it's money for old rope.

A bloke on eBay the other week was selling an old road sign for £2500; it read "1:8 - Use low gear". I thought "that's a bit steep".

I'll get me coat.

David

 

[legrandefromage]

Kevin walked into the room and was hit by two eggs

Dave and Vern laughed out loud and shouted 'the yolks on you!'

As Kevin wiped egg from his face, it was then Dave noticed the prolific bloodstains and the still dripping kitchen knife.

Vern wandered where Kate was...

 

[SouthCoastRetro]

I was swimmming with Dolphins the other day, I didnt think we'd get on at all but we just clicked.

 

[David B]

Not to mention the snooker player who refused to use anything other than a normal cue for attempting a long pot. He was done for resisting a rest....

...and I almost forgot about the pro cyclist prosecuted for singing "Mr. Blue Sky" in the doping control area; apparently he tested positive for ELO.

Top tip: never buy secondhand mountaineering kit; it's money for old rope.

A bloke on eBay the other week was selling an old road sign for £2500; it read "1:8 - Use low gear". I thought "that's a bit steep".

I'll get me coat.

David

 

[LQQK]

Did you hear about the young couple who got their KY Gel and putty mixed up?





All their windows fell out.

 

[Bensherman]

I made a metal cooking utensil out of some old bits I found in the shed.I love it when a pan comes together.

Or

I've just been told by my doctor that I'm colour blind.It came right out of the orange.

 

[legrandefromage]

Vern cam into the room, sat down and stared off into middle distance

Nigel asked 'Hey, Vern, whats up?'

Vern replied '**** off you duck ******* cod piece'

Vern was in a bad mood.