doctor-bond
Feature Bike
Returned from a nice 50k, and it occurred to me that lots of the day-to-day incidents you experience as a cyclist on our roads fall into patterns. See if any of these are familiar, and feel free to add some more.
#1. The Phantom. You’re cycling down a lovely narrow lane, perhaps on a national cycle route, when you glance behind and note a dark shape. Fair enough, they can wait til we get to a passing place or the junction and then come past. But always expect a cheeky close pass. You find yourself focussing, speeding up, giving it some beans now and congratulating yourself on actually going as fast as is proper for such a road regardless of vehicle. They’re not passing you; fine just getting on with the job here. A couple of minutes later you reach the junction in a bit of a lather, but try to look cool and triumphant as you swing round to face the follower: no one there, not a vehicle in sight, no side roads.
#2. The Giffer. Another lovely lane - this time you’re coming round a sharp bend, or a blind hill - or both - and a car hoves into view on the wrong side of the road. Quick double take as you wait for them to correct course ….. but no. It’s the Giffer: c. 108yrs old, 4’8”, beer bottle glasses and still driving a W reg Montego - they make no attempt to change course and you swiftly become intimate with the verge/hedge/ditch.
#3. The Tail Gunner. You’re rolling along musing on how splendid and extensive the national cycle routes are these days when the familiar rustle of down shifting and tyre noise makes you glance round. You have a proper look to be sure it’s not the Phantom, and yes a perfectly respectable motorist is following slowly waiting for a chance to pass. No worries, here’s a passing place; you slow down a little to encourage them by. No. Still behind. Time passes, birds sing. Finally, as you’re approaching a fine tight blind bend, the tail gunner pounces, and squeezes by with a gnashing of gears ….. then brakes suddenly as they are confronted by another car just around the bend. Everyone stops.
#1. The Phantom. You’re cycling down a lovely narrow lane, perhaps on a national cycle route, when you glance behind and note a dark shape. Fair enough, they can wait til we get to a passing place or the junction and then come past. But always expect a cheeky close pass. You find yourself focussing, speeding up, giving it some beans now and congratulating yourself on actually going as fast as is proper for such a road regardless of vehicle. They’re not passing you; fine just getting on with the job here. A couple of minutes later you reach the junction in a bit of a lather, but try to look cool and triumphant as you swing round to face the follower: no one there, not a vehicle in sight, no side roads.
#2. The Giffer. Another lovely lane - this time you’re coming round a sharp bend, or a blind hill - or both - and a car hoves into view on the wrong side of the road. Quick double take as you wait for them to correct course ….. but no. It’s the Giffer: c. 108yrs old, 4’8”, beer bottle glasses and still driving a W reg Montego - they make no attempt to change course and you swiftly become intimate with the verge/hedge/ditch.
#3. The Tail Gunner. You’re rolling along musing on how splendid and extensive the national cycle routes are these days when the familiar rustle of down shifting and tyre noise makes you glance round. You have a proper look to be sure it’s not the Phantom, and yes a perfectly respectable motorist is following slowly waiting for a chance to pass. No worries, here’s a passing place; you slow down a little to encourage them by. No. Still behind. Time passes, birds sing. Finally, as you’re approaching a fine tight blind bend, the tail gunner pounces, and squeezes by with a gnashing of gears ….. then brakes suddenly as they are confronted by another car just around the bend. Everyone stops.
but it should told that it’s a 57T x 12-17 set up 
And I’ve definitely had a few #6 style moments - seems like a lot of “one life, live it” stickers should also have a “and don’t get in my way!” sub clause….
Maybe that is how new Phantoms are made
