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Some of you have noticed that I havent been around much, some were annoyed and some are happy about that.
I received a phone call to say that my father had died, back in April - to cut a long story short, that has ended some 5 decades of pain and anguish for many people for reasons I cant go into but some of you do know and some will guess
In the intervening time my mojo has gone off somewhere. Sure I've been riding bicycles (my neighbour drags me out so I dont disappear up my own ego) but to sit here and get into endless debates as to what thing is/ was better , what thing fits what and what thing do I have, it has all left me a bit cold.
Its also been a bit of a squirrel hunt in my headspace, dealing with old wounds and feelings that should have long disappeared by now but re-appear like an unflushable turd. Work has been challenging - which has been a good distraction so I dont sink too far into myself
But its been many weeks of nothing. I cant even do the alcoholic thing right! A lethargic nothing that consumes whole days then its suddenly time to get up for work despite the fact it was Friday just minutes ago. The weather isnt playing ball either - I want to be out but I dont want to be soaked through - damn you weather (shakes fist lethargically from sofa)
So, I'm here but I'm not, maybe I'm just there, fiddling with a chainset, wandering what frame it will fit.
I received a phone call to say that my father had died, back in April - to cut a long story short, that has ended some 5 decades of pain and anguish for many people for reasons I cant go into but some of you do know and some will guess
In the intervening time my mojo has gone off somewhere. Sure I've been riding bicycles (my neighbour drags me out so I dont disappear up my own ego) but to sit here and get into endless debates as to what thing is/ was better , what thing fits what and what thing do I have, it has all left me a bit cold.
Its also been a bit of a squirrel hunt in my headspace, dealing with old wounds and feelings that should have long disappeared by now but re-appear like an unflushable turd. Work has been challenging - which has been a good distraction so I dont sink too far into myself
But its been many weeks of nothing. I cant even do the alcoholic thing right! A lethargic nothing that consumes whole days then its suddenly time to get up for work despite the fact it was Friday just minutes ago. The weather isnt playing ball either - I want to be out but I dont want to be soaked through - damn you weather (shakes fist lethargically from sofa)
So, I'm here but I'm not, maybe I'm just there, fiddling with a chainset, wandering what frame it will fit.
