Concept time:
We buy a lake, and a huge selection of bikes and components, most shite tat but some quality stuff. Dump it into said lake, setup a reinforced rod rental with a gift shop full of chinese retro knock off jerseys. We charge addicts, like ourselves, to come fish. No diving.
What if someone's family cut a bicycle shape out of aluminium and tossed it to the bottom, knowing that their unsuspecting Retrobike subscribing family member would peer down, feel that tingling sensation, jump in, only to be met by a phony bicycle and a whole array of family members ready to start the intervention upon returning to the shore?