Particle found by a big machine in a mountain.

[David B]

The head of research of the project made a small speech to the hundreds of Scientists Involved in the momentus breakthrough...





Piss off home you lot... you're all sacked.


al.

Didn't realise Lord Sugar had been in charge at CERN

Serious edit: this is pretty much what happened to a big chunk of the UK's space programme in the early 70s. After the Prospero satellite had successfully gone into orbit, some "men from the ministry" came to tell the team behind it and the Black Arrow rocket that they'd done a good job all round but were effectively to clear their desks and clear off home ASAP.

David

 

[David B]

Professor Higgs comes into the cafe in my work every day. Turns out he's been coming in for years and nobody knew who he was. Very nice chap apparently.

Does he order the cosmic soup?












No need to get my coat, I've been wearing it for two months.

al.

He's in training, so just has a proton shake

If you're on a tight budget, try the neutron shake instead - there's no charge.

David

 

[David B]

Professor Higgs comes into the cafe in my work every day. Turns out he's been coming in for years and nobody knew who he was. Very nice chap apparently.

Quite a modest bloke from what I've read. Slightly uncomfortable with all these people naming a boson after him and refuses to shoulder all - if any - of the credit for formulating the idea of a particle which imparts mass to everything.

David

 

[twain]

Apparently, a load of Scientologists have announced that they have found God.... He's been in Switzerland all this time

I may have got hold of the wrong end of the stick



G

don't worry, according to the 'meta-universes', you've got hold of the right end of the stick as well

 

[David B]

Apparently, a load of Scientologists have announced that they have found God.... He's been in Switzerland all this time

I may have got hold of the wrong end of the stick



G

don't worry, according to the 'meta-universes', you've got hold of the right end of the stick as well

However, sticks in a moving reference frame appear shorter due to the Lorentz Contraction.

David

 

[REKIBorter]

So how many of these particles do you need to make a bike frame? and what will its ride qualities be like?

 

[grahame]

A Higgs Boson goes into a catholic chapel. The priest tells it, "We don't let your kind in here." The Boson replies, "You have to let me in, you can't have mass without me."

 

[twain]

Apparently, a load of Scientologists have announced that they have found God.... He's been in Switzerland all this time

I may have got hold of the wrong end of the stick



G

don't worry, according to the 'meta-universes', you've got hold of the right end of the stick as well

However, sticks in a moving reference frame appear shorter due to the Lorentz Contraction.

David

so you saying he may have mistakenly grabbed the wrong end of the stick - as it looks shorter than it actually is? [that is to say that he see's the same stick that we do]