Not had a papercut for over 7 years now.
I did burn my lips on a particularly hot cup of coffee last week but i had some lipsalve handy in my manbag so i was ok.
If you want to misinterpret my original post, go right ahead, and feel free to flame me if you want to play the internet tough guy too, but it seems to me that the OPs Guv holds these medals in the same regards as I do.