How to smuggle a bike into the house ?

[Hillwalker]

I have laughed SOOO much at this thread

However, another confounding variable here can be the addition of (sneaky) daughters. They will dob their Dad in at the drop of a hat (or a seatbolt - take your pick).

Ask me how I know... :?

HW

 

[mattr]

Just buy her one too, it's a technique that has stood me in good stead.
Took 4 months for her to notice that I'd added a full suss to our collection, as n+1 becomes less noticeable the larger n becomes.........

 

[incorrigible]

Re: Re:

I'll just walk in straight through the front of the house, bold as brass the bike dripping with oil on the beige carpet, say to my Wife - I EARN IT SO I SPEND IT - ALRIGHT LOVE

Then tell her to clean the oil off the carpet

Tried that and she said "don't you talk like that to me or you won't see me for 3 days!"
I replied "I am the man, this is my house, you are the woman, my servant girl whom I gracioiusly allow to live with me, and I shall buy as many bikes as I wish. Now, go fetch me a beer, girly!"

Well, sure enough, the next day came and went, I didn't see her at all.
The second day passed, and again I didn't see her all day long.
But by the third day, the swelling had gone down enough that I could just barely make her out.



Just kidding. I'm single and I can buy as many bikes as I can afford. On the downside, I have to fetch my own beer.

 

[widowmaker]

Re: Re:

I'll just walk in straight through the front of the house, bold as brass the bike dripping with oil on the beige carpet, say to my Wife - I EARN IT SO I SPEND IT - ALRIGHT LOVE

Then tell her to clean the oil off the carpet

Tried that and she said "don't you talk like that to me or you won't see me for 3 days!"
I replied "I am the man, this is my house, you are the woman, my servant girl whom I gracioiusly allow to live with me, and I shall buy as many bikes as I wish. Now, go fetch me a beer, girly!"

Well, sure enough, the next day came and went, I didn't see her at all.
The second day passed, and again I didn't see her all day long.
But by the third day, the swelling had gone down enough that I could just barely make her out.



Just kidding. I'm single and I can buy as many bikes as I can afford. On the downside, I have to fetch my own beer.

Ha ha

 

[Twister]

However, another confounding variable here can be the addition of (sneaky) daughters. They will dob their Dad in at the drop of a hat (or a seatbolt - take your pick).
HW

True.

Same colour policy is quite effective. My wife doesn't notice the difference between polished Torus and polished P7. They are both referred to as 'the silver bike'

What you can do is send a bike (or frame as appropriate) away for an unspecified repair/replay/lacquer etc. and then introduce the new bike or frame into the house as returning from the repairers, after a suitable timeframe you can reintroduce the original bike or frame as returning from the repairs.

Btw in my experience you can be as specific as you like about the work that is needed, by the time you're explaining that the decals needed to be replaced and you were struggling with the font /year/colour choice your partners eyes will have glazed over (that's if they're still in the room)

IMHO the advantage of this approach over the others proposed is that it can be extended to introduce multiple new bikes at one go.

Done well if you always have a bike or bikes in transit between you and the frame repairers or paint shop enough confusion is created that you will never need to buy a new bike again.

 

[FMJ]

Re: Re:

On the downside, I have to fetch my own beer.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W02C75-adA[/youtube]

 

[My_Teenage_Self]

Scene - You're rolling the bike in through the front door, and you're confronted;

" Dearest, a work colleague has asked me to fettle his old bike for him, I did explain that you didn't want any more bikes in the house, but he sent these [insert her favourite chocolates/wine] as an apology."

A few weeks pass...

" Why is it still here? Well, as it turns out, he bought a new bike. As I was kind enough to help him out, he gave it to me! what a nice gesture! He also gave us some these tickets to [insert her favourite crooner/comedian/stageshow] for our trouble!"



Win.

 

[cce]

Talk to her like an adult.

You have (presumably) a loving and supportive relationship that should allow room for each other's interests.

 

[ultrazenith]

Most of the best techniques have been covered already:

Strip the parts off the frame and bring it in separately. Tell your wife it's a spare frame in case your other one breaks. I've used this one myself, and it actually does make sense to always have a back-up bike there just in case my main bike has to go in for repairs, or while I'm sourcing a spare part to replace a broken one.

Use some creative accounting. Offset the price of the frame against the value of parts you have for sale on these forums, then you can say the frame only cost 25 pounds.

Keep a bike box at the spidery back of the garage, with boxes on top. Let spiders build webs around it. Stash your frame(s) in there.

 

[The History Man]

All of the above are fine as long as you keep the shed locked :facepalm:

We now have his and hers sheds as i didn't.