Clumsy? *WARNING* Stories of Idiocy

[velomaniac]

I have medical excuses for my clumsiness, jaundice as a baby can cause slight brain damage and having ME now makes my hand eye coordination poor especially when I get even more tired. That said I suspect I would have been a klutz anyway. My hands are constantly cut up from the vast array of everyday stuff I damage them on, in fact as I type I notice a cut on my index finger.....when did I do that :?

Should we ride old bikes or should we carefully step away and wrap ourselves in cotton wool

 

[mattbrown]

i cycled into a back of a park car (well it was snowing, and i had my head down trying ot avoid getting snow in my face - broke a tooth)

regularly trip over stuff - mastered walking, thats about that, balance was never my strong point

broke collar bone, cycling into someone, - suffered amnesia so never will know for fully

if i go mountain biking, i am the one that falls off.

 

[trickylad]

me too matt
i once fell off the night of my school leavers ball
big chunk missing from my elbow
avoided A&E by supergluing the skin, sellotape covering and then masking tape over the top.
you should have smelt it by the morning....

 

[perry]

i cycled into a back of a park car

Same , except it was uphill ! hitting a parked car while giving it large pedaling uphill is pretty foolish so I scarpered quickly . Broke 3 fingers when my chain came off , again uphill , again giving it large but this time in front of a group of slow people . Had to ride about 7 miles to the car and knew I didn't have long before the swelling would make holding the bars difficult ( broken fingers before )

Edit : rereading to make sure spelling is correct and want to emphasis " slow " in the sense of propelled speed and not mental ability

 

[Russell]

When I was younger we were on holiday at Ladram Bay in Devon in a caravan. As the young little scamp I was I insisted on having the top bunk with my sister below. I can't remember what we did that day but I remember going to bed happy in the knowledge I was on holiday and had bagged the top bunk.

Then at about 4am, I felt a twitch. Assuming I needed to fart I pushed a little . It became almost instantly clear that I didn't need to fart, I needed to get to the loo about 5 seconds previously.

So I did what anyone of us would have down - I jumped out of bed in an attempt to get to the loo in time.

I say attempt as they were a couple of problems with my plan.

1. In my panic I'd forgotten I was on the top bunk.
2. In my panic I'd forgotten I was in a sleeping bag.

I ended up bouncing off the caravan wall, bouncing my head off my sisters bunk and the the coup de grace?

I shat myself on impact.

In a sleeping bag

At 4am in the morning

In a caravan

With diarrhea

Those were the days!

Thats the funniest thing I've read in ages.

 

[cchris2lou]

When I was younger we were on holiday at Ladram Bay in Devon in a caravan. As the young little scamp I was I insisted on having the top bunk with my sister below. I can't remember what we did that day but I remember going to bed happy in the knowledge I was on holiday and had bagged the top bunk.

Then at about 4am, I felt a twitch. Assuming I needed to fart I pushed a little . It became almost instantly clear that I didn't need to fart, I needed to get to the loo about 5 seconds previously.

So I did what anyone of us would have down - I jumped out of bed in an attempt to get to the loo in time.

I say attempt as they were a couple of problems with my plan.

1. In my panic I'd forgotten I was on the top bunk.
2. In my panic I'd forgotten I was in a sleeping bag.

I ended up bouncing off the caravan wall, bouncing my head off my sisters bunk and the the coup de grace?

I shat myself on impact.

In a sleeping bag

At 4am in the morning

In a caravan

With diarrhea

Those were the days!

Thats the funniest thing I've read in ages.

reminded me of the picolax thread on stw .

 

[dyna-ti]

I have #OCD

Original Clumsy Disorder

 

[drcarlos]

Borrowed a mates 'racer' when I was about 13 while he was on my Chopper both had 3-speed sturmey archer hub gears, mine used to work perfectly his would sometimes go into 'slip' gear in 3rd.
So there we were giving it rock-all in top going along the road when his suddenly does hte slip gear thing causing a carl crossbar interface at full speed followed by a serious wobble and a lose control moment causing me to career across the road (luckily it was quiet), into a side road and into the side of a parked car at nearly full speed, still with gonads on fire.
I sat there dazed for a minute and then quickly disappeared when I realised that the car door had caved in due to the impact!
Pedalling after being kicked in the balls is not fun or easy.

Carl.