Clumsy? *WARNING* Stories of Idiocy

[gibbleking]

so far ...
fallen 20 out of a tree when i was 4...6 stitches
smashed 2 teeth running into the back of a white merc
electrocuted at least 20 times including 10 000 volt steel armoured cable
run over twice.
hit by an ambulance
smashed me ankle and nearly died due to the pulmanary embolisem and the blood clots
fallen off scaffolding from 30 feet(no damage that time...i was getting used to it)
crashed badly on the bike at least 6 times...skin grafts involved twice
serious neck injuries as a result of crashing down a cliff face of 40 feet
put both hands thru plate glass without a scratch(missed the door bit and shoved the glass instead)
dropped railway tracks on me foot (had steel toecaps which saved the foot)
ive had butane gas cylinder(15kg job) blow up near me...flames were only 8 feet high...put that out with me work shirt.
jumped onto nails go in my feet
screwdrivers stabbed in me hands
boiling sugar when i was a t dowcras take all my skin off my arms
slammed my hands in the van door as hard as i could(was my fault for not noticing where i hand was at the time the other was slamming the heavy door shut
had my finger jammed into a pulley wheel on a death slide
these are just the ones i can remember at the moment.im sure there are more..

 

[trickylad]

......................I was going to type something.................no good forgot

Ha ha. I'm sat on the sofa with my wife who's just got to the sentimental bit of 'in pursuit of happyness' and I laughed at a really odd moment reading that post.

 

[marin man]

Re: Clumsy?

I cooked lasagne tonight and burnt my foot, MY FOOT, with béchamel sauce. What a d*pstick

Translation...You put a ready meal in the microwave This does not constitute cooking my man

 

[trickylad]

so far ...
fallen 20 out of a tree when i was 4...6 stitches
smashed 2 teeth running into the back of a white merc
electrocuted at least 20 times including 10 000 volt steel armoured cable
run over twice.
hit by an ambulance
smashed me ankle and nearly died due to the pulmanary embolisem and the blood clots
fallen off scaffolding from 30 feet(no damage that time...i was getting used to it)
crashed badly on the bike at least 6 times...skin grafts involved twice
serious neck injuries as a result of crashing down a cliff face of 40 feet
put both hands thru plate glass without a scratch(missed the door bit and shoved the glass instead)
dropped railway tracks on me foot (had steel toecaps which saved the foot)
ive had butane gas cylinder(15kg job) blow up near me...flames were only 8 feet high...put that out with me work shirt.
jumped onto nails go in my feet
screwdrivers stabbed in me hands
boiling sugar when i was a t dowcras take all my skin off my arms
slammed my hands in the van door as hard as i could(was my fault for not noticing where i hand was at the time the other was slamming the heavy door shut
had my finger jammed into a pulley wheel on a death slide
these are just the ones i can remember at the moment.im sure there are more..

It's like you videotaped the last two years of my life, minus the industrial accidents

 

[trickylad]

Re: Clumsy?

I cooked lasagne tonight and burnt my foot, MY FOOT, with béchamel sauce. What a d*pstick

Translation...You put a ready meal in the microwave This does not constitute cooking my man

Ready made lasagne and home made béchamel. Durr


No I just have an annoying habit of opening the microwave door with my feet.

 

[gibbleking]

oh...never try to adjust your rear light whilst riding quite fast....
i did this and got my hand jammed into the wheel...ripped three spokes out of a steel rim.smashed and dislocated all the fingers...they all popped back in nice and quick...it was the pain and the blood that wasnt fun...still ive never broke a bone yet.......

 

[mikeekim89]

took half the skin on my face off at about 8 years old on a skateboard, faceplanting gravel, 6 weeks without getting my face wet funn...

i also rode into the back of a parked car, twice, the second time only the bike got hurt, the first, i bit through my lip,

 

[marin man]

so far ...
fallen 20 out of a tree when i was 4...6 stitches
smashed 2 teeth running into the back of a white merc
electrocuted at least 20 times including 10 000 volt steel armoured cable
run over twice.
hit by an ambulance
smashed me ankle and nearly died due to the pulmanary embolisem and the blood clots
fallen off scaffolding from 30 feet(no damage that time...i was getting used to it)
crashed badly on the bike at least 6 times...skin grafts involved twice
serious neck injuries as a result of crashing down a cliff face of 40 feet
put both hands thru plate glass without a scratch(missed the door bit and shoved the glass instead)
dropped railway tracks on me foot (had steel toecaps which saved the foot)
ive had butane gas cylinder(15kg job) blow up near me...flames were only 8 feet high...put that out with me work shirt.
jumped onto nails go in my feet
screwdrivers stabbed in me hands
boiling sugar when i was a t dowcras take all my skin off my arms
slammed my hands in the van door as hard as i could(was my fault for not noticing where i hand was at the time the other was slamming the heavy door shut
had my finger jammed into a pulley wheel on a death slide
these are just the ones i can remember at the moment.im sure there are more..

All this and you spent the first fifteen years of your adult life doing college courses so were these injuries sustained during your criminal career

 

[mikeekim89]

still ive never broke a bone yet.......

+1, no bones broken, that i know of, had a inability too walk or run on my ankle properly once for a month or 2 though

 

[gibbleking]

im a trouble magnet..just ask the nurses..you should see the mess i made of my ankle after jumping out of the works van and twisting around...3 years of therapy .1 session at adenbrookes to rebuild the ankle with re arranged ligaments ...7 months on crutches and 8 frikkin months being injected with warferine and joyous other chemicals to keep me from snuffing it cos of blood clots...all because i was wearing safety boots...(they keep ya toes safe but do sod all for ankle stability )