It seems to me the easiest way to make this thing look presentable is to turn it into a discount Zaskar. I have to paint the stem and handlebars black anyways, might as well paint the fork. And I just need to strip and polish the frame. It doesn't look too terrible without the paint.
And I think the welds look better than on any Zaskar ever!
The bottom bracket area looks a little rough, but it'll probably buff out.
The chainstays on this frame are super chunky, but I think they look better without the paint:
According to the sticker, this is a 22" frame. It does measure 22" from the center of the bottom bracket to the top of the seat tube. But the frame is pretty much the same size as my 94 Scott Mohaka, which is 20.5" according to the frame sticker.
The frame weighs 2670 g. I weighed a 19" 1990 Marin Bear valley frame for comparison and it weighs exactly the same. Not exactly comparable, but the headtubes on both are equally long. I guess 2670 g is not too terrible, but super light it's definitely not.
There are no holes, but I just noticed that there's a crack in the seat tube.
I guess that was the end of this project. I've only ever bought two aluminum-framed bikes thus far and both have had this exact problem. Well, at least I got some DX bits out of this.