Who would win

[Lysander]

To add a counter question- which personality/celeb/etc. would be shit in a scrap?

I reckon Duncan Norvelle would start greetin' straight off if ye slapped him across the face. Geoffrey off of Rainbow, however, I'd note as a right mental c**t once ye got him tae lose the heid............

 

[FairfaxPat]

Have you guys seen Seagal in recent years? He is so fat he always wears a full length coat to hide his bulk, and only his hands move when he is supposedly fighting because he is too blubbery to move his body-what a joke!

 

[highlandsflyer]

Steve McFadden couldn't kick the air out of a paper bag.

My wife would have him with both arms and legs tied behind her back and a hood on.

His brova too, Ross Kemp, he should have stuck wi Spandau Ballet.

I don't reckon he could handle me when my toast gets burned.

 

[computerbitz]

His brova too, Ross Kemp, he should have stuck wi Spandau Ballet.

He cried after his wife beat him up he ard

 

[Lysander]

Bizarrely, there is documentary proof that Ross Kemp is harder than Russell Crowe.

'S a funny old world, in't it!

 

[Lysander]

Oh- and Bill Oddie is known to carry a knife.......

 

[highlandsflyer]

Why would anyone ever think Russel Crowe was hard?????

He is an actor. Chubby one at that, who admits to smoking sixty a day.

Doubt he would trouble my gran, and she is no fit state to fight back.

 

[Neil]

Will Smith and Mark Wahlburg are probably fairly handy - at least in the ring. According to what was written about them, both, regarding the boxing movies they were involved in, both got to a pretty serious standard.

That said, your average MMA fighter would probably take both to Chinatown.

 

[highlandsflyer]

Where they would smoke some opium.

MMA fighters are steroid junkies, and God knows what else.

It is all about pain control.

Not a genuine sport, imho, and in the control of the same shady characters that have blighted boxing over the years.

The truth is that Bruce Lee was actually what it said on the tin.

Seagal too, whatever he looks like he has skills that don't disappear overnight.

All of these guys would make Vinnie Jones pee himself.

 

[Neil]

Where they would smoke some opium.

MMA fighters are steroid junkies, and God knows what else.

It is all about pain control.

Not a genuine sport, imho, and in the control of the same shady characters that have blighted boxing over the years.

Goalposts have moved, though.

I'm not advocating it as either sport or as a martial art, really - there's no point arguing against what I wrote, because you infer I'm lauding it as some pinnacle - I'm not.

Just pointing out that boxing (if the only discipline practised) doesn't lend itself to where unfettered fights often end up - where grappling arts (or those that are significantly composed of grappling, holds and traps) take over.

The truth is that Bruce Lee was actually what it said on the tin.

No argument, there, that Bruce was a strong advocate of a holistic approach to fighting arts. He truly had a very enlightened approach to martial arts and pugilism.

That said, apart from anecdotal evidence, he had precious little actual documented results in organised competitive fighting (some minor / junior boxing title, is about all it gets in terms of results from organised competition).

That's not to demean or slight his ability, merely to point out that in some instances, many of the characters involved, have objective measures of ability (like Seagal - his rank in Aikido, or boxers - their professional records).

To be equitable, the two that I mentioned (Will Smith and Mark Wahlburg) also have only anecdotal commentary on their ability, too.

Seagal too, whatever he looks like he has skills that don't disappear overnight.

True - he's probably more dangerous than people give him credit for - but his method that most people know him for - his movies - in latter years, don't show him in a particularly favourable light - some of that is appearance, some of that is stunt / fight doubles.

All of these guys would make Vinnie Jones pee himself.

Therein lies the difference, though, between somebody who's considered (by themselves, and others) as "hard" and some kinda tough guy, to trained pugilists that are actually skilled and effective at combat. Sometimes the two coincide - there's several "hard" guys that also have quite an evolved system of combat they hawk in class, seminar, books and video.