Rubbish joke thread

[KeepItSteel]

what do you call a man with a pack of ham on his head?




Hamed.



What about the man with two packs of ham on his head?





Mo'hamed.





What about the man with two packs of ham on his head standing between a couple of houses?





Mo'hamed Alley

 

[azaro]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What do you call a man in a raincoat?

Mac.

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats?

Max.

What do you call a rich man in 2 raincoats?

Maximillian.

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves.

 

[KeepItSteel]

A fly with no wings?



A walk.

 

[jax13]

apologies in advance for this one folks. it is in very, very bad taste.


whats the difference between sand and a baby?

you can't pick up sand with a pitchfork


and in an effort to redeem myself........

whats blue and doesn't fit?



a dead epileptic


whats this?

its a dead one of these.......

 

[cyfa2809]

jax!

you cannot see how much im laughing right now!
im stealing that joke too!

 

[David B]

Q: What do you call a woman with her coat pockets full of fish?

A: Annette.

I'll get me coat.

David

 

[David B]

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats in a cemetery?

Max Bygraves.

What do you call a man in 2 raincoats pushing a Cortina off Beachy Head?

Max Clifford.



David

 

[JamesM]

What's large, white, cold inside and you have to look up to see it?


A fridge in a tree!!!


Two cows standing in a field, a plane flies overhead and one cow looks up at the plane and then looks at the other cow and says............


...............moooo!!! :facepalm:

In my defence, it did say crap jokes only :roll:

 

[KeepItSteel]

two nun's in the bath, one says to the other, ''wheres the soap''

the other replies, ''it does doesnt it''

 

[SouthCoastRetro]

whats green has eight legs and could kill you if it fell on you?



A snooker table.






....sorry.





a siamese twin was asked where theyre going on holiday this year and replied....' France, so my brother can have a go at the driving'.