A journalistic flight of fancy - just for fun!
With slight apologies to our esteemed moderator!
News report
Worried residents called fire engines to a house in Hampton Bishop, near Hereford earlier today when they mistook a dust cloud hovering above the house for smoke. Firemen investigating the "blaze" discovered the cause of the problem was a wife's attempts to clean the house after she left her husband home alone whilst she visited family in the Philippines.
Neighbours were shocked to learn that errant husband Ed Edwards bought his wife a one way ticket to the Philippines in order to enjoy a month's bike related debauchery in her absence. For a whole month, Edwards, long time member of an obscure cycling sect known as Retrobike, secretly entertained a succession of old bikes in his kitchen, allowed wheels in the spare bedroom, and spent evenings in fast paced muddy rides, known to aficionados as "Bimbles", in local woods.
Sources close to the Retrobike community revealed today that prior to his wife's return Edwards was spotted at a Singlespeed event in the North of England, camping shamelessly with male companion, Neill R. He was observed cavorting with R around a running track at 2.00 a.m. before both took part in several laps of the gruelling cycle event. An unnamed observer commented "It was the Ed and Neill show - for a while I seriously believed that they were married"
This evening, wife Vinia had the bicycles under lock and key whilst peace reigned once again in Hampton Bishop. However an unrepentant Edwards vowed "I'll be back- it's Mountain Mayhem in a week or two"
Ends
With slight apologies to our esteemed moderator!
News report
Worried residents called fire engines to a house in Hampton Bishop, near Hereford earlier today when they mistook a dust cloud hovering above the house for smoke. Firemen investigating the "blaze" discovered the cause of the problem was a wife's attempts to clean the house after she left her husband home alone whilst she visited family in the Philippines.
Neighbours were shocked to learn that errant husband Ed Edwards bought his wife a one way ticket to the Philippines in order to enjoy a month's bike related debauchery in her absence. For a whole month, Edwards, long time member of an obscure cycling sect known as Retrobike, secretly entertained a succession of old bikes in his kitchen, allowed wheels in the spare bedroom, and spent evenings in fast paced muddy rides, known to aficionados as "Bimbles", in local woods.
Sources close to the Retrobike community revealed today that prior to his wife's return Edwards was spotted at a Singlespeed event in the North of England, camping shamelessly with male companion, Neill R. He was observed cavorting with R around a running track at 2.00 a.m. before both took part in several laps of the gruelling cycle event. An unnamed observer commented "It was the Ed and Neill show - for a while I seriously believed that they were married"
This evening, wife Vinia had the bicycles under lock and key whilst peace reigned once again in Hampton Bishop. However an unrepentant Edwards vowed "I'll be back- it's Mountain Mayhem in a week or two"
Ends
