giss a job... go on...
- Thread starter legrandefromage
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greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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Silverclaws...............i know after taking a few onlines tests and previous life behavior that i have certain traits that make it hards for me to deal with people, eg when i went on a course recently and the do the ' everyone tell us your name etc' i have only recently learnt to dive in straight away to get it over with.
Also at breaks and lunch i will use most of the lunch time to walk to a secluded place to eat my lunch (instead of group canteen chit chat)
I'm quite happy just not talking socially to people, at breaks on courses, everyone burst into ' hi we'll chat now' i just get my paper out and go into my own world, it's me , the way i am, so i'm gonna start being comfortable with it. (as a child i'd always hide away from family groupsand don't know how to deal with party conversations etc.
BUT i have learned to put on a prettygood act 'to myself' and trick myself that i am more confident/sociable than i am.
It's tough getting your confidance back (i'm just getting over a break down, it's really not easy)andcouple that with being out of work (last time it was 3 years) then bang i had to throw myself into uncomfortable situations.
My next challenge is volunteering with people with quite heavymental health problems, i went and had a look at a charity that needs people to help out, not sure who was more nervous, the helper who had just come out of psyc (with sweat dripping of her hair) or me that felt like just going into silence, trying to stare into her face to understand her expressions, because my connection with interaction is very scetchy and i just felt like stopping talking and going to look out the window at the birds i had been listening to all the while she was speaking.
But i am going to force myself to sit with the group, knowing that i CAN get used to it, an learn familiar patterns of behaviour then later seem confident to people and be a help. Push yourself a little and get more confident a little bit at a time.
Also at breaks and lunch i will use most of the lunch time to walk to a secluded place to eat my lunch (instead of group canteen chit chat)
I'm quite happy just not talking socially to people, at breaks on courses, everyone burst into ' hi we'll chat now' i just get my paper out and go into my own world, it's me , the way i am, so i'm gonna start being comfortable with it. (as a child i'd always hide away from family groupsand don't know how to deal with party conversations etc.
BUT i have learned to put on a prettygood act 'to myself' and trick myself that i am more confident/sociable than i am.
It's tough getting your confidance back (i'm just getting over a break down, it's really not easy)andcouple that with being out of work (last time it was 3 years) then bang i had to throw myself into uncomfortable situations.
My next challenge is volunteering with people with quite heavymental health problems, i went and had a look at a charity that needs people to help out, not sure who was more nervous, the helper who had just come out of psyc (with sweat dripping of her hair) or me that felt like just going into silence, trying to stare into her face to understand her expressions, because my connection with interaction is very scetchy and i just felt like stopping talking and going to look out the window at the birds i had been listening to all the while she was speaking.
But i am going to force myself to sit with the group, knowing that i CAN get used to it, an learn familiar patterns of behaviour then later seem confident to people and be a help. Push yourself a little and get more confident a little bit at a time.
greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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exactly 
greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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just a ps.
I don't understand this, but i am good with people (clients) that i can relate to.
But i am really crap conversing with official/structured conversatin patterns...........i'm far more comfortable if someone starts conversations with random and unrealated contents.
ie i can't talk to other staff and they seem/or i seem to make them jumpy and them me......but the clients, i realy relate to and have a good raport ! ?
I don't understand this, but i am good with people (clients) that i can relate to.
But i am really crap conversing with official/structured conversatin patterns...........i'm far more comfortable if someone starts conversations with random and unrealated contents.
ie i can't talk to other staff and they seem/or i seem to make them jumpy and them me......but the clients, i realy relate to and have a good raport ! ?
greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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That is true, but with me i'm not nervous of them, but i just can't judge where their conversation is going or how to respond to it, where as the clients generally make random comments and go off of tangents and i find that an easier (if longer at times ) way to converse
