Film phrases and one liners that are cool

What are you lookin' at? You're all a bunch of f***ing' a**holes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your f***in' fingers, and say "that's the bad guy." So, what'll that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy. Come on. Last time you're gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Make way for the bad guy.
 
and another i love

Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?


Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!
 
I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. Time to musk up.

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal
Really.
People know me.
well, I'm very happy for you.
I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show...
 
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
 
Another long one, not from a film but from my Avatar.

"You wanna know about my thumb do ya boy? Intrigue ya does it boy? My Thumb? Let me tell ya 'bout it. I come from a long line of hitchhikers, all with bleedin' massive thumbs. You see the thumb its a tremendous boon to the hitchhiker, helps with work. Ya know what I mean? Only problem was, when I was a child, my thumb was tiny. Not just tiny like a single sugar puff, Disgusting! Even my own mother would reel back in horror, like an anaconda, 'Aagh! What is it!? Get it out of here! It's tiny! It's horrible, it's revolting! Take your tiny thumb and get out of here and never darken my door again!' she'd say. I had to leave the family unit. In search of a miracle, I wandered the streets, looking for the answer. And people told me of a magic shaman: part man, part hornet. So I went looking for him. I went everywhere. I combed the universe in search of the stripy insect shaman. Turns out he was in a local primary school, in the bin, reeling about with the apple cores, like they do. And I stood there, with my thumb out, and he stung it, and he stung it. He grabbed onto it, it was like he was making love to it with his sting. In and out, in and out, more and more! Oh the pus, the pain, the black voodoo, the wet jigsaw puzzle! I didn't know what was happening. Oh for days I was in a trance. But when I came to, there it was. Like a fleshy maraca! A thumb of gigantic proportion! 'A miracle!' I said, 'A miracle, you're a true wizard! How can I ever repay ya?' And he said to me, 'Five hundred euros.' 'Five hundred euros!? You won't see penny one from me you slag!' And as I raised my thumb up, to smash his tiny skull in I could see in his little insect face, could see him thinkin', 'Oh, I created that monster! I created that thumb! And now it's killing me! My own beastly creation, killin' me dead. The sweet irony.' I think he was sayin' that, although it was a long time ago. And in hindsight, he coulda just been s***tin' himself"
 
From the film singles

I’m going to settle down and get a real job, Emperor of the earth

23 seams like about the right age to do something bizarre, some where around 25 bizarre becomes immature –

From Cocktail
Coughlin’s laws:
1) Always make the first drink strong.
2) Always carry a lighter, even if you don’t smoke.
3) Never spit at a woman, she will only spit right back.
4) If it is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.
5) If you can’t trouble them with truth, battle them with bullshit.
6) Last call is never last call.
7) You are not in it for the money, you are in it for the fun.
8) Always make the tip jars obvious.
9) The bigger the fool, the better the tips.
10) There is no such thing as too much.
11) The last one, always means a few more.
12) When it comes to music, always play what you feel.
13) When in doubt, drink tequila.
14) When making love to a woman, always have Bayleys and Swiss chocolate on hand.
15) Always keep at deck of cards behind the bar.
16) It’s not what you did, it’s what you remember.
17) Learn something new every day.
18) Never put chairs behind the bar.
19) Never let friends behind the bar.
20) The brain is dead, the liver is shot, but the spirits keep on flowing.
21) Always keep your eyes on the dames.
22) If at first you didn’t succeed, drink and try again.
23) Don’t drink more than you are able to walk to your car.
24) Always have a flower handy for a lady.
25) When making love to a man, just make sure you are naked.
26) Never tell tales about a woman no matter how far away she is, she’ll always hear you.
27) Never show surprise, never lose your cool.
28) Couglin’s diet: cocktails and dreams.
29) Falling down the stairs is allowed!
30) Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone.

I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life.

- Lance Armstrong in Dodgeball
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