My heart is with you also Al,its terrible to lose ones friends after so long
But at 19 years old ,thats a fair old age for a moggie,mind you they do sleep an awful lot
My mog ,at the end ,woke me up by clawing my face,but i kept pushing her away shouting at her for waking me at 3am,she kept on trying to snuggle up to me but i kept pushing her away,I feel so shite for that but i didnt realise what was wrong
It was an impacted bowel causing her immense pain and all she wanted was to be close to me at the end
I tried to make it up by forcing the vet to do exploratory operations in the faint hope that he would be able to help her,but despite a £2000 vet bill it was hopeless.
[8 yrs ago + tears are in my eyes as i type]
I think now it was selfish of me to ask the vet to continue the treatment instead of saying goodbye
I know this isnt what you want right now but it might help,Get a second hand cat that really really needs a loving home,the cattery will tell you whos been there the longest,give some poor soul a new start