Caption Competition

[stewlewis]

"That one IS small Dougal, those at sea are far away."
"So are mine big too?"
"No Dougal, That one IS big, yours are close to you, at arm's length."
"So...... Mrs Flood is only small, could she dance on mine Ted?"
"Only if she was far away Dougal, she's not that small!"
"But, then, how, arms, far, reach. I think I need a lie down Ted"

 

[TGR]

And, having had his nails done, God spoke to Noah. He warned him about the impending floods and laid him back to Earth.

Noah, who was not the brightest biblical character, completely got the wrong end of the stick and changed into a transvestite cheer leader and began his search for a similar mate. He built a small yacht to transport the animals, and again, God had to explain the need for a larger ‘ark-type’ vessel. Noah, unconcerned, proceeded to build a detached, 6 bedroom house in a quiet rural area - where is neighbours did not take notice of his dress sense or weird boat building antics in his garden - they thought he was just an eccentric country transvestite.

God returned, his nails - as always immaculate, and spoke to Noah and told him to finish his preparations for the floods. Noah happily danced on God's thumb to celebrate the flood-related news singing, "I am sailing, I am sailing ..." whereupon God gave up on humanity and moved into the stratosphere but he still is haunted by the song …

Mr History – short stories?

Richard

 

[grahame]

Re:

"Yankee Doodle Handy."

 

[NeilM]

Re:

I thank you! (applause dies down)

And now ladies and gentlemen, for a third demonstration of my incredible matter transformation machine, I shall enlarge that ant to the size of a horse!

 

[The History Man]

Re:

God makes lovely scones.

http://leeabbey.org.uk/devon/

Amazing place. Almost found him myself. Pity his china doesn't match. The estate/retreat is a huge chunk of coastline with a working sustainable farm and country house.

 

[The History Man]

Re:

Somebody concerned about what was in the planter?