Macretro: Coast to coast, aftermath

[clockworkgazz]

yeah we were really lucky with the weather, great trails and great company (haven't laughed so much in a long time).

My legs are sore today but the stumpy was flawless, indeed all the bikes made it without a hitch really (snapped chain and slow puncture apart).

Well done to Mr P and the orkanese fella for organizing and motivating everyone and shame on those that dipped their toes instead of swimming with the fishes :twisted: .

 

[zigzag]

The pictures don't really do the experience justice, the scenery and the riding were just a small part of the story.

Mine and TK's stupidly overloaded panniers - and still not bringing enough scran for the first leg. Wondering if I could dump some of my crap by the side of the trail and pick it up tomorrow on the way back. Mr P with his Canadian lady wrestler crush based solely on a radio interview he heard. The Ken's shonky xizang, limitless milky sweat on tap from his helmet pads and his titanium knob rest. Radek with his mobile pantry, and his ability to just keep on cycling. Those mountain bikers who told us it had only taken them 3.5 hours to get from Ullapool to where we where - gayers, we'll do it in less than that :roll: Jaws hurting from laughing so much at the bothy. Gazz keeping me company for the last 7 odd miles when I was really toiling. Rob breaking out the bag of ear-plugs in the dorm (£5 a pair lads). Gazz getting all offended when no one would believe he actually went for a skinny dip. Radek donning my pyjama shorts to go out for tea since he hadn't brought a change of clothes. The first pint and mouthful of real food. Myself and Kaiser's matching outfits. Martin Stephenson at the Argyll Hotel and the Scottish didgeridoo. The Ken's solution to my lack of love life. The huffy bead holding when bending over waitress when Steven had the gall to ask for vinegar. Lieing in our bunks giggling like kids on a school trip while trying to get to sleep. The stench of the dorm in the morning. Kaiser and Gazz throwing themselves in the harbour water and the reactions of passer bys. Throwing your leg over the bike on Sunday morning knowing you've got it all to do again and everything is already sore. The herd of deer scattering over the track just ahead of us (feel the stag!), the angry cows, let Gazz go first, his bike is red. Swapping panniers with TK to try and straighten his bent rack, and then riding like circus clowns until we both got used to the weight being on the other side. The Ardgay car park dash, feeling unburstable and convinced I could shake Kaiser and Radek... then blowing up a few miles later, legs utterly gone.

Quiet moments on your own too, just the nippy wind, a sore back and jippy shoulder, the splash of cold water on your legs, the stench of stagnant puddles. The slow grind uphill staring down at your cranks, wondering how many more times they would have to turn before the end of the ride. Trying to catch up with everybody after unpicking your loose, chewed up bungee from the rear cassette, and then tipping over in a huge arse puddle, losing it and ending up almost knee deep in stinking mud... with no one there to laugh at you. Picking your lines and taking your chances, or following the bike in front and trusting you can ride what they just did.

And that's just a tiny fraction of it.

 

[therealkw15]

Lyrical and hilarious writeups- if my yet to arrive copy of Privateer #1 is as good as this I'll be happy. Surely worthy of publication?

Really enjoyed the weekend, and sorry I had to solo it back via the road to get the ferry, rather than enjoy the West to East with the rest of you.

My memories include the confusion on meeting everybody for the first time and trying match faces to names to forum names... Compounded later at the hostel when Gazz asked for the dormitory key and we realised nobody knew anybody's surnames to be able to say whose name it would be under.

The Suspension Boys that we met at the 16 mile mark, who scoffed at our chances on our rigid bikes, rather than congratulating us for our retro cool. We'll be drinking Coke out of their bikes soon, and they'll have moved onto their next lifestyle choice.

Hammering into puddles or quagmires, realising that stopping is not a viable option under any circumstance.

Marvelling at my bike's ability to soak up the punishment, and recalling my words at the Edinburgh Bike Co-op in 1989- "I want something that is reasonably light, but well enough made that I can ride it up and down stairs for 20 years..."

Getting red spots in front of my eyes at the 30 mile mark as I'd stupidly not eaten enough, until I horsed back a bar of chocolate.

Getting back into the real off road stuff after far too long on nothing harder than a forest trail.

 

[jimihendrix]

Superb pics and write up , i keep thinking "sh!t Kaisers bars have broke"

Thats a cracking looking Breezer Mr P

Thought Jamie would have hooked up with you'se ?, maybe he's bussy with work.

 

[therealkw15]

For the record, here's the Express Tourist Route back via the road through Oykel Bridge.

Profile:

C2Croad by therealkw15, on Flickr

Distance on map: 48.75 miles
Distance on Lidl cycle computer: 49.5 miles
Total ascent: 1062m
High point: 261m

Sadly there was no dramatic view of Suilven on the way north, although the view down from the high point was welcome. Stac Pollaidh looked nice too (not pictured here).


highpoint by therealkw15, on Flickr

When looking forward to Ledmore junction, I had envisaged something, perhaps even a place called Ledmore. But no, it was just a junction, called Ledmore Junction. Nothing there but a sign that filled you full of shit that it was only 27 miles to Bonar Bridge, when it was more like 31.


SignOfLies by therealkw15, on Flickr

There was also a signpost for an event that we missed. Noooooooo!


chicken by therealkw15, on Flickr

Answers on a postcard please.

After that it was many miles of Along, followed by a pleasant burst of Doon.


doon by therealkw15, on Flickr

Then Rosehall, Invershin, Bonar and Ardgay, all reluctant participants in the International Year of the Closed Wee Shoppie.

Back at Me Ker by 3.20, at Scrabster for the ferry by half five, home by 8.50pm. Bike's still in the back of the car though!

 

[kaiser]

The pictures don't really do the experience justice, the scenery and the riding were just a small part of the story.

Mine and TK's stupidly overloaded panniers - and still not bringing enough scran for the first leg. Wondering if I could dump some of my crap by the side of the trail and pick it up tomorrow on the way back. Mr P with his Canadian lady wrestler crush based solely on a radio interview he heard. The Ken's shonky xizang, limitless milky sweat on tap from his helmet pads and his titanium knob rest. Radek with his mobile pantry, and his ability to just keep on cycling. Those mountain bikers who told us it had only taken them 3.5 hours to get from Ullapool to where we where - gayers, we'll do it in less than that :roll: Jaws hurting from laughing so much at the bothy. Gazz keeping me company for the last 7 odd miles when I was really toiling. Rob breaking out the bag of ear-plugs in the dorm (£5 a pair lads). Gazz getting all offended when no one would believe he actually went for a skinny dip. Radek donning my pyjama shorts to go out for tea since he hadn't brought a change of clothes. The first pint and mouthful of real food. Myself and Kaiser's matching outfits. Martin Stephenson at the Argyll Hotel and the Scottish didgeridoo. The Ken's solution to my lack of love life. The huffy bead holding when bending over waitress when Steven had the gall to ask for vinegar. Lieing in our bunks giggling like kids on a school trip while trying to get to sleep. The stench of the dorm in the morning. Kaiser and Gazz throwing themselves in the harbour water and the reactions of passer bys. Throwing your leg over the bike on Sunday morning knowing you've got it all to do again and everything is already sore. The herd of deer scattering over the track just ahead of us (feel the stag!), the angry cows, let Gazz go first, his bike is red. Swapping panniers with TK to try and straighten his bent rack, and then riding like circus clowns until we both got used to the weight being on the other side. The Ardgay car park dash, feeling unburstable and convinced I could shake Kaiser and Radek... then blowing up a few miles later, legs utterly gone.

Quiet moments on your own too, just the nippy wind, a sore back and jippy shoulder, the splash of cold water on your legs, the stench of stagnant puddles. The slow grind uphill staring down at your cranks, wondering how many more times they would have to turn before the end of the ride. Trying to catch up with everybody after unpicking your loose, chewed up bungee from the rear cassette, and then tipping over in a huge arse puddle, losing it and ending up almost knee deep in stinking mud... with no one there to laugh at you. Picking your lines and taking your chances, or following the bike in front and trusting you can ride what they just did.

And that's just a tiny fraction of it.

Don't forget MrP and TK's outstanding brakes so good they make you smile. The log monster at the ardgay toilets :shock: Mr P trying to convince gazz and me to walk out into a mud flat. The Polish sausage carrot. Fart condensation. Gazz leaving his rolex in the toilets. Geek explosion looking at the celestial bodies. Crud catching and crud gaurding. Mr P a man of 110% conviction, accuracy is a bit shonky though.
And I still have muddy feet.

 

[clockworkgazz]

Great summary ZZ, however you were keeping me company the last 7 miles when I was toiling!

 

[The Ken]

The Ken's solution to my lack of love life.

Just to point out it didn't involve me doing anything physical to ZZ

Great weekend - the first day is a blur to me especially after my light lunch at duag bridge (that mistake ruined my enjoyment of the next section) I didn't come back to life until the bothy stop, exhausted as I watched you guys dissappear into the distance again and again. The last downhill was scary on badly set up canti brakes, I had to turn into the hill to stop 3 or 4 times. The last flat section was stunning and a great way to finish a ride, sunset on a still loch, deer running about, even the last quarry climb didn't seem too bad.

Great craic on the the night out good food and live music form Martin Stephenson and Co.

Day 2 was a different story, I enjoyed the climbs, the downhills were slightly more suited to a bike with no brakes and I wasn't always last. I absolutely loved it.

Funniest moments for me?
Schoolboy blazing saddles duet with RobMac.
The fear you all had of my snoring.
Consult the Cock! He'll know where we are - aye right!
Gazz in general - he has a way of making the most normal situation sound funny.
Mr P - I need a biscuit because I'm knackered rouse to hold everyone back while he set up for the 11mile carpark dash.
The supposed need of a rope to cross a river no bigger than my stream of pish. We rode through deeper wider puddles.

Pannier side swap was confusing as hell, I don't recommend it. My pannier did come off on one occasion but that was because I didn't adjust the clips when I switched sides, they were much better than the tesco ones I used on the last trip, they were a bit big for this kind of riding but they will come in handy for camping trips.

I think I need to reassess my colour coordination with my bike, looks a bit too deliberate...

 

[kaiser]

Theres a deed sheep in the back. Go and have a look its rancid!


Err no ta! (though there was one taker )

 

[The Ken]

ha ~ I forgot about that, yes it was rancid

I've still not emptied my panniers yet, pretty sure the one ZZ borrowed still has water in it