Check out the accessories on this "Peugeout"....

Re:

If I had the space and it was a less ridiculous price, I would have that.

My best bike ever was one of those. I probably did 40,000 miles on mine.

Surprising how you get attached to them, isn't it?
 
He's certainly got every eventuality covered.....even down to the luminous yellow drag chute! ;)

Presumably there to slow the bike down on descents......you can probably get a bit of momentum going with all that additional weight!
 
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