Surprise Baiku (pic heavy)

Ed Edwards, check. Cx bike, check. Hills, check. Usual loop with added hill pain, he'll like that. Passes me half way up (seated, high geared) the biggest hill in the village saying 'i thought you said it was steep'. Edwards + Hills = Sobering lesson in one's humble real world ability. Mistake. Asphalt turns into chalk. Chalk into Woodland. Woodland into open fields.

Apparently falls backwards into a concealed badger's hole covered in a rusty grate and surrounded by 6ft nettles. After pulling myself together from fits of laughter, (I'm not a team player I'm afraid) Help Gangly Edwards out by trying to break his ankle to free him. Appears to like the nettle sting and continues to electrocution moment.

Electric fence at groin height makes for the quote of all quotes from any bike ride when Edwards leans too close....

"I've electrocuted my Warrior".

"The General is scorched"

Spin home for pasta and chortles. Best surprise ride of my life.

What size tyre is on the front of the IF??

andrewl":1q0gr1jo said:

What size tyre is on the front of the IF??

Click to expand...

Thanks, thinking of putting some wider tyres on my CX bike for the fast approaching winter.

Pre ride faffing. Check. Gears not working properly. Check. 'Taking a gun to a knife fight" tyre choice. Check.

Farmer advises keeping powder dry and then dances on the pedals like Brendan Cole. Chastened I drive forward into a fierce headwind, overlooking that I have no idea of where we are going. Like a tubby Boardman, Gus catches me after a 2 mile pursuit and we turn back.
Chalk dust coats the bike like we are on strada bianchi. Stop some tourists and ask them to take a photo. See them again when we exit bushes together after a bathroom, adjusting our shorts.Laurent Garnier has nothing on us.

On on. More chalk, some sun dappled singletrack, lots of jabber. Spreading the cheek on a footpath I momentarily lose focus. Badger set incident follows. Lucky that there are 6 foot high nettles to break my fall and cushion my body from the rusty metal grate. Situation not helped by Gus offering to alleviate the nettle rash via "the ancient remedy of urine" (I'm sure Heathy used a similar technique to wake me at Mayhem in 2009). Fortunately thoughts of stinging recede as I have an unfortunate interface with an electric fence. Not sure how to explain singed genitalia to my wife following a night out in Brighton. Return home. Gus sprinkles parrot seed on his pasta provencale. Which somehow seems an appropriate end to the day.

<giggling>