The last few purchases has left me strapped for cash and the bailiffs are coming soon to collect the airfryer and propane torch which I financed over 24 months, as a means to start my catering business which went downhill after the self branding let me down a slippery slope of dubious moral choices.
I chose the name La Salsa Cantina, which I thought was flavourful and exotic, hoping to catch the interest of bland gravy tongued Danes, but I didn't realise what would happen next.
Within a week I received my first big order, and I was chuffed to bits. I thought it a sign from heaven, that I had made the right choice by paving a new existence in the culinary world, a post-dole success story.
Unfortunately I had thought very little of the fact that my first big order was placed with a foreign credit card, and it wasn't until I received an email in broken English, complaining that the conversion fee overcharged them 500 pesos per portion, that I realised something was gravely wrong. Spicy. It seems that my branding had attracted the customers of a well known, similarly named Mexican restaurant. I tried to explain and tried to offer a refund, but they're an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth these Latin folk, and so they insisted that I ship the food overseas to arrive exactly at 7 AM for their daughter's wedding. Or else.
So in a desperate attempt to raise funds to realise this shipment before the cartel takes action, I have decided to go all in on the business venture that my great old man started in 1977. A traditionalist take on the wing view mirror, in different shapes and sizes, providing a much bigger and more complete view of the road. And should your love dove be wanting to powder her nose by the roadside or get the corset tightened proper to plump out the funbags, she can do so with the comfort of our superior products. I'm sure I could conjure up something for a bicycle. Please.