Ebay Collection only Formula

toaster999

Senior Retro Guru
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When scanning Ebay for 'collection only' Bikes, this Excel formula outlines the likely result. Its been the result of years of perusing and disappointment.

If(P-W>0,"Yeah right..no chance mate, way overpriced",If(M>50,"Cock..too far away","A pro splitter has outbid me/Someone hit the BIN before I could ask permission from the missus"))

Where P = Price
W =Worth, either value or nostalgic
M=Miles from house to Bike.
50 is a variable, depending of the bike/whether you can be arsed.

This formula works best if you live south of Birmingham ,East of Bristol and West of Dartford. Well near me, anyway.

This formula is untested and the fact that's its iffy is not the fault of the author. Don't get pedantic as to where the brackets are please, life is to short.

My next formula will show sellers how many times the comment "Bargain!" or "Can't believe its not been sold yet!" needs to be made before its actually sold. Also number of reductions that need to be made based on numbers of posts telling them its to expensive.
 
Re:

Missed the them for the else part, I guess I would actually see Me over Someone if it didn't ...
Tried it up here and it doesn't work. Given nothing decent comes up
 
What about the sell it to Mrs HM as a 'nice day out' factor? with a 'just got to pop in here for something' thrown in? This offsets fuels costs no?
 
As somewhat of a spreadsheet jockey, may I respectfully suggest that P-W>0 could be represented by P>W

Additionally, forgiveness is generally easier to obtain than permission. If you can buy something for less than it's worth, there can only be one rational answer.
 
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