Cricket
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rosstheboss
Retrobike Rider
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/8090437.stm
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I love that look on Ricky Ponting's face - it always reminds me of one our tortoises having a poo.....
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I love that look on Ricky Ponting's face - it always reminds me of one our tortoises having a poo.....
Well I know of one Aussie up in the north of Scptland pissing himself after reading that 
I really like the one day game, used to go to a lot of day night matches back home.
Ross the boss I will never be able to look at Ricky Ponting the same
Jamie
I really like the one day game, used to go to a lot of day night matches back home.
Ross the boss I will never be able to look at Ricky Ponting the same
Jamie
retrojon":3jh989ei said:
And the answer...
The first international cricket match was between Canada and the USA in 1844. It is also considered the oldest international sporting event in the modern world.
I wonder how different the game would be if they still played at test level? Every country has brought its own ‘flavour’ to cricket, which I think is a good thing.
I read somewhere that the Chinese government is encouraging the playing of cricket as it has a ‘civilising effect’.
Points to ponder at tea...
rosstheboss
Retrobike Rider
LQQK":13ih8b8i said:
In reference to the chinese bit - thats why all the old colonies play cricket, they were taught it to learn gentlemanly manners, hence the phrase " That's not cricket".... Not that you'd guess that from some of the sledging that goes on............
rosstheboss
Retrobike Rider
1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?" Apparently Botham replied "The wife's okay but the kids are f**king retards!"
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she gives me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played& missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to theboundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
7. Ian Healy his legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man .Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.[/i]
2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she gives me a biscuit"
4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes during 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played& missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to theboundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad during 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards during a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."
7. Ian Healy his legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ****!!!"
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then you're fu*king useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
12. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man .Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
14. Fred Trueman. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.[/i]
These are my two favourites; I remember the first but wish I saw the second...
• South African Herschelle Gibbs dropped a sitter off Steve Waugh in the World Cup. Steve went on to score 120 and Australia won an ODI against all odds – said Steve to Herschelle – “What’s it like to drop the World Cup?” – Gibbs has never got over the sledge.
• South African skipper Hansie Cronje was belting Australian paceman Merv Hughes all over the park with a flurry of fours, and sixes. Exasperated, Hughes wandered alongside Cronje, passed wind, and said “Hit that for six” – play was halted for five minutes until all concerned stopped laughing, including Cronje.
Merv Hughes is now a selector for the Australian cricket team :!:
• South African Herschelle Gibbs dropped a sitter off Steve Waugh in the World Cup. Steve went on to score 120 and Australia won an ODI against all odds – said Steve to Herschelle – “What’s it like to drop the World Cup?” – Gibbs has never got over the sledge.
• South African skipper Hansie Cronje was belting Australian paceman Merv Hughes all over the park with a flurry of fours, and sixes. Exasperated, Hughes wandered alongside Cronje, passed wind, and said “Hit that for six” – play was halted for five minutes until all concerned stopped laughing, including Cronje.
Merv Hughes is now a selector for the Australian cricket team :!:
