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 Post subject: Re: Carlos Santana
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:52 am 
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:26 pm
Posts: 21952
Location: Northest North Yorkshire. whippet real good...
I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up fish and chips on my way home from work but she just grunted at me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.


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 Post subject: Re: Carlos Santana
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:34 pm 
Gold Trader / MacRetro rider
Gold Trader / MacRetro rider
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Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 11:03 am
Posts: 19299
Location: Sunny Glasgow
:lol: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 5:42 pm 
rBoTM Winner
rBoTM Winner

Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:54 am
Posts: 1592
Location: Derby
.


Last edited by bagpuss on Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 06, 2020 5:56 pm 
rBoTM Winner
rBoTM Winner

Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 11:54 am
Posts: 1592
Location: Derby
One for BMW 320 auto owners.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9t3XBXmtgQ


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 Post subject: Re: Carlos Santana
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2020 1:01 pm 
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:26 pm
Posts: 21952
Location: Northest North Yorkshire. whippet real good...
My girlfriend told me she wanted to weigh a pie she’d made but didn’t have any scales, and didn’t know where to take it.


So I said I’d take it somewhere over the rainbow...


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 8:23 pm 
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:26 pm
Posts: 21952
Location: Northest North Yorkshire. whippet real good...
That’s, what my heart, yearns for now.......


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 Post subject: Re: Carlos Santana
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:51 am 
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
GOLD | PoTM | Rider | rBOTM
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:26 pm
Posts: 21952
Location: Northest North Yorkshire. whippet real good...
I've been helping Art Garfunkel extend his kitchen, and was putting the concrete down for the floor but there was loads of air pockets in it so it was all uneven. I ended up putting some white goods over the top to hide it.

Now he's got a fridge over bubbled mortar.


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:38 pm 
Old School Hero

Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:18 pm
Posts: 162
Location: Somewhere else
I went to the Doctor the other day. I said "Every time I press my left knee it hurts. And every time I press my right knee it hurts, in fact no matter where I press my body it hurts. What can it be?
He replied


"You've broken your finger"


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 7:46 pm 
Old School Hero

Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2018 5:18 pm
Posts: 162
Location: Somewhere else
A man goes into the Doctors and says "Doctor I keep thinking I'm mouth organ"
The Doctor replies "That's odd we had a woman in earlier with the same complaint"

"Ah, replied the man, that'll be our Monica"


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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:47 pm 
Retro Guru

Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:28 pm
Posts: 1456
Location: Almeria, Spain
Best done in a Tommy Cooper voice:

Went to the doctor the other day, he said "Jump up on the table", I said "Why, what's the matter"? "Nothing I want to sweep up".

I 'phoned the council and asked if I could have a skip outside my house? "Certainly just where a mask and gloves" they said.


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