A little yarn...

dan , id have seen that as an open invitation to give the fookers a kickin

its not like they would come out after you eh

reminds me of the first episode of the last series of peep show where mark gets back to find the door of the flat open and jez stood there

" jez whys the door open ? "

" oh , weve been burgled "

" did you phone the police ? "

" no i thought id wait for you to get back , or do you do it all online now ? "

I used to keep a mtb and bmx on my balcony. Being 2 storeys up I thought it was safer than me tripping over them in the flat.

One night I heard a noise and saw some cnut's hand over the railing - he'd actually climbed up. Casually I smashed it as hard as humanly possible with a chopping board which was to hand.

He fell. I never saw his face. I didn't look back and went back to watching the telly (I think it was good pr0n). Never heard anything since.

:shock:

thats brilliant jimster

Over ten years ago, a bunch of us were coming out of our student union. A fella was taking the wheels of a bike chained to some railings. I jokingly said "I hope that's yours, mate?" The bloke looked all flustered, replying "Er, yeah. I don't like to leave the wheels on it at night." Then he ran over to a Transit minibus and threw the wheels on to a big pile of others in the back, jumped in to the passenger seat and sped off. I had a closer look at the bike and recognised it as a friend's GT. My beer-soaked brain took a while to work out what was going on...

We walked down the road to the police station, where we reported what had happened. The desk sergeant got on the radio and started to a statement from me and the others. Within ten minutes, the van had been stopped and the two occupants arrested.

A couple of weeks later we got letters thanking us for our help and informing us that the pair had received £150 fines. Hardly worth it. Not the police's fault though.

Shot in Nottingham? Good grief. I was served my first ever under-age drink in a Nottingham pub. A pint of Marstons Pedigree and I was fourteen! I've had a soft spot for the city ever since.

tintin40":1dsy3c0t said:

I'm not surprised the police were rubbish. What do we pay them for :twisted: In London they just drive round in cars. doing nothing. Nice money if you can get a job like that. I stay well away from London Police. useless is the kindest word I can say about them. And as for the diplomatic police. A very comfortable life they have indeed. I feel my dislike of this lot of over paid F**king W**kers building up. So time to sit in the dark. And count to 10.

Glad you got your stuff back

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I know a lot of police officers and believe me, they earn their money. Its not their fault that their hands are now tied alot of the time by a politically over correct government intent on introducing inane laws.

Seconded Russell

I work as a paramedic in OZ and deal with em several times a day

They certainly earn their money over here as well

Andy

Nice stories guys.

Iwasgoodonce":xz9at9rx said:

I got shot in Nottingham.

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Sorry to hear that mate.

I once got shot in Guildford. My mate forgot the gun was loaded and was just pointing at the ground and pulled the trigger. I got shot in the foot. Needless to say his gun privileges were revoked.

While i was prospecting for the M.A.C[motorcycle alcoholics club/ Wales]in my youth
We were in the pub one eve and then went on to the local kebab shop for afters
As we came out the Chairman caught a pellet in the face,fired by some spotty youth
I mean how thick do you have to be firing an air pistol at a large group[17]of bikers :shock: ,needless to say we all took after this guy and caught him after a very short chase
Biff,Pow,Bang,Wallop,crunch
If it wasn't for the fact the guy was about 14,he would have received the hiding of his life instead of a couple of slaps and the confiscation of his airpistol
i dont think he was the full shilling :roll: