Daily funny

What's the difference between greyhound racing and Gary
Glitter?

The greyhounds wait for the hare.

Joke

After the tragic fire the other week, I hear the coroner has released the remains of the two fosters.

Well you wouldn't want a warm one








Yes, I am Australian

did everyone hear about the plane that was sent to pick gary glitter up from thailand it was diverted to india to pick gade goodie then diverted again to pick george bush from a secret meeting in iraq on its way home from dropping its carlsberg load off to are troops staitioned out there.

NOW CARLSBERG DONT DO PLANE CRASHES BUT IF THEY DID THEY WOULD PROBERLY BE THE BEST PLAE CRASHES IN THE WORLD

clunker":3amg7hl2 said:

What's the difference between greyhound racing and Gary
Glitter?

The greyhounds wait for the hare.

Click to expand...

Ooooohhhhhh!!

Mr Glitter is in fact wanting to take up a sporting role- he's been an avid Baseball fan for many years, and wants to play the game professionally.

Now, he is gettin' on a bit, so of course he wouldn't get a game at the highest level, but he's pretty sure he could make a big splash in the minors............


etc.................

Lysander":2gnnf380 said:

Coat, sir?..............

Click to expand...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

own advice to many

A guy buys a new top of the range car with all the gadgets money can buy including a voice activated stereo system.

Upon leaving the showroom he says "Radio Two", and Terry Wogan's voice fills the car.

Suddenly, a group of children run out into the road. Luckily the car's ceramic discs and ABS do their job and he manages to avoid them all.

"F*$king kids", e mutters to himself as he pulls away again.

After a moments silence, the stereo booms out "Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang. Do you wanna be....."

computerbitz":3kzd0qnu said:

Lysander":3kzd0qnu said:

Coat, sir?..............

Click to expand...

own advice

Click to expand...

Oh, when I visit jokey threads, I never bother taking my coat off...........and I make sure there's a taxi outside with the engine running.

Two friends had gone on a girls night out, both were faithful and loving wives. However they had been over enthusiastic on Barcardi Breezes. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee so they stopped at a cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she decided to take off her undies and use them. Her friend however, had on a very expensive pair of undies and didnt want to ruin them. Luckily she had squat near a wreath with a ribbon on it so she decided to use the ribbon to wipe herself with. After the girls did their business they continued to proceed home.

The next day one of the husbands was concerned that his sweet, normally innocent wife was still in bed hungover, so he phoned the other husband and said, 'These damn girls night out have got to stop. I am starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no undies.'

The other husband replied, ' You think thats bad. Mine is lying in bed with a card stuck up her arse that says... From all of us at the Fire Station. We will never forget you. :shock: :shock:

michael jackson and gary glitter are sat chatting on a park bench when a 12 year old boy and girl walk past holding hands
jackson and glitter look at each other and both say 'i bet they made a good looking couple in there day' :shock:

rob