About to be a dad (ulp)... any tips?

Rosstheboss":2skb9mxm said:

That said if it doesn't work for you, it absolutely isn't the end of the world.

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try telling that to my mother. :roll:

One good one - if baby likes sleeping on their front don't let it freak you out. Stastically there is a tiny additional chance of cot death but its way lower than smoking as a statistical modifier. If baby is happy you should be happy.

In return for that small breach of the rules in my experience you get a baby that sleeps better, has less trouble with wind and colic and tends to develop stronger neck and arm muscles earlier. We tried to force our first onto her back which lead to weeks of wind and restless sleep one we let her choose it was almost instantly better. We deliberately tried both from birth with No.2 and she chose front down almost straight away.

One last bit of advice - if it works for you and your family *IGNORE* everyone else. There is no "one true way" to bring up a baby in spite of what Mother in laws, Gina Ford and others may think babies are already as individual as the people they will grow up to be - there is no one size fits all. It's especially important that you support your wife if she makes an unconventional choice as she will be be getting grief from all sides and needs your support.

Yeah all good stuff. I should clarify that the classes the mrs has booked are for both of us... should be good to meet other new parents too. I like the sound of the Surestart group, I will check out what's near us.

We are moving to 5 mins down the road from mrs' mum, which will help I think. In a lovely twist of timing, she's just retired too...

#1 enjoy it, loads of good reasons to...

#2 jumble sales are the place to go; the ones in 'posh' village halls are the best, you'll come away with bags full of quality stuff for next to no money...

#3 follow 'professional' guidelines as to feeding what and when...

#4 talk to them from day one...

#5 encourage them to walk at every opportunity...

#6 don't let others try and pre-program a girl to be a mother/housewife by buying loads of dolls, prams, toy vacuum cleaners and irons!

#7 encourage them to talk 'properly' instead of putting '...ie' on the end of everything; Pussie, doggie, horsie etc! :x

#8 encourage them to play games, not sit in front of the telly/PC/Wii endlessly...

#9 socialise them from an early age rather than shut them way as an inconvenience; my daughter had her first restaurant meal aged two in Yarmouth, she had curried eggs! She is now a confirmed foodie like her old man

#10 teaching them to behave! I can't abide parents who let their kids run amok in restaurants/pubs/even McD's! :roll:

Liking your advice we are Stevo, good points there. And some gems in here.
I will be joining the dad club erm this week! Nervous but confident enough, I'm lucky to have got to a wise age and looking forward to it.

I think the thing that worries me is things are changed forever!! I'm ok preparing for something big then relaxing... ha! I'm knackered out at mo with stressful changing work stuff (bad timing) and evening and weekend decorating and planning so recouping today from exhaustion/man fever.

Will take some of your tips from here.

secret_squirrel":31s6pdy8 said:

One good one - if baby likes sleeping on their front don't let it freak you out. Stastically there is a tiny additional chance of cot death but its way lower than smoking as a statistical modifier. If baby is happy you should be happy.

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Definitely second this one... I believe it's the way most babies really like to sleep, given the chance (face down, head to the top corner of the bed.)

In any case the official recommendations for these sorts of things change with the seasons, despite the ridiculous way social work spies (sorry, "health visitors") treat them as if they're 100% infallible, set in stone facts.

Oh yes - good point about health visitors - unlike midwives and nurses who'll generally say these are the guidelines but apply them as you see fit - health visitors - especially the old school ones - tend to be far dictatorial. Just agree with them and do your own thing until the next time.

Health visitors are the people who have the responsibility to flag up potential neglect or abuse of children, I'd take my job seriously if I had to do that too.

Enjoy every moment you have.

rosstheboss":1zppjjga said:

Health visitors are the people who have the responsibility to flag up potential neglect or abuse of children, I'd take my job seriously if I had to do that too.

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Frankly that's a tiny part of their job and plenty of other professions manage have that same responsibilty without coming across as the SS.

With a couple of exceptions I didn't value the health visitors at all - YMMV.