Fat and mad does not agree with summer

Girlfriend to me parading about in some outfit: "This doesn't make me look fat does it?"

Me to girlfriend: "Off course not. (pause) It's all the cake you eat that makes you look fat."

It's an oldie but still made me chuckle, she didn't see the funny side, It was one of the lines I've been storing for soooo long and couldn't resist given the opportunity.

Amazingly, I'm single

Maybe she didn't think it was funny because she's not a retard, trapped in her own little bubble of understanding so she's aware that there's more to it than just the fact that she eats too much cake.

Did you consider that there could be behavioural, psychological or medical issues at play here?

I think you might have been oversimplifying it.

Now that's funny

not behaviour but behaviourism apparently. Very Important difference, I'd imagine.

I had an ism once.

Russell":29pw38sl said:

Maybe she didn't think it was funny because she's not a retard, trapped in her own little bubble of understanding so she's aware that there's more to it than just the fact that she eats too much cake.

Did you consider that there could be behavioural, psychological or medical issues at play here?

I think you might have been oversimplifying it.

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Ah, bless - what with the sarcasm, and the laughs. You guys...

Clearly you and the other malcontents must be right - it must just be so very, very simple. That's why the world shows that things like obesity, smoking, alcoholism, drug use - they're not really problems affecting millions - they're just inventions by people trying to peddle some myth - just like those religious nut-jubs.

After all, what's more tenable - it can all be solved by simple maths, that anybody should be able to grasp - and all the millions that have issues - that's just because, well because - maybe the simple maths is slightly to complex for them... And all those smokers, drinkers, drug users? Hell it's just simple - they should just stop. Isn't that obvious? Why people make it out it's any more complex than some trite, twee one-liner, I'll never know - you guys have convinced me. I have seen the light, brothers.

It not being quite that simple is clearly bollocks - after all, with the hyena like golf-claps in this thread, you guys must have it all sewn up.

And I bet, with it all being so simple, like, that you guys are the perfect weight for your height, and as race-horse lean as a fast-food burger. I'd also wager, there's none of that over-confidence from some people who've managed to get things right for a few months, made some progress, and think they've got it sussed. Hell, I bet they don't stumble at all to their goal weight, and in 5 years, they've become beautiful swans, never regressed an inch, and aren't sporting any excess blubber.

This time next year, Rodders, you'll be a miilllliiionnnaaaiiirree, why haven't you marketed it already?

Bravo.

What was it you were spouting earlier in the thread about people overreacting?

Russell":3qdphj6x said:

Bravo.

What was it you were spouting earlier in the thread about people overreacting?

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Me?

Overreacting?

How veerryyy daaarrre you.

You must have read sarcasm that simply wasn't there - I'll have you know I was on my best behaviour, being as genuine as possible - you guys have obviously thought this thing through from every angle, and your repeated repeating of such a simple mantra has won me over.

Kudos. Rapturous applause. I'm almost stood, well sat down, kinda slouching, really, shouting bravissimo at the top of my voice.

None, some, or all of that may not be completely true.

I'm going to keep this and drop it where appropriate.

The History Man":2uxbyznc said:

I'm going to keep this and drop it where appropriate.

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That. Is. Just. Like. Totally. Fabulous. Man.

It's even snappier - were that possible - than "It's simple maths" or "It's not rocket science".

Total awesomeness. Of a degree seen only previously in Chuck Norris.