Ok lighten up! Got any decent bike/cycling jokes?

The History Man

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Had enough of the heavy negative vitriolic threads of late. It's spring! The warm weather is coming. How about sharing some bike type jokes? Good or bad.

A man goes into a pub and sits down next to another man with a piece of red Tarmac unde his arm. The barman leans over and says, "Don't sit there, he's a bit of a cycle path!"

Next
 
Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman walk into a pub.

Barman

"Hear Thatcher kicked the bucket then, thoughts?"

Irishman

"Well she won't be missed, she hated us Irish."

Englishman

"She brought this country off its knees!"

Scotsman

"The woman had no heart, she tore the country to pieces."

Welshman.

"As usual you bastards have forgotten about me!"
 
This is exactly why I started the thread. If you'd mentioned Tebbit's bike.........

But seriously. I like a good themed joke. Politics and religion NOT.
 
Does it have to be a cycling joke? I was going to offer this:

Back when I was a postgraduate science student, I wouldn't say I ate a lot of takeaways at that time in my life*, but the university ended up awarding me an MSG.... :oops:

David

*Not an entirely untrue statement, in fact. Life outside of the lab during my doctorate did involve copious amounts of Timothy Taylor's followed by the chip shop or the pizza parlour....
 
Good enough. Ok Any DECENT decent jokes. No politics or religion. Yes that means you!
 
The History Man":2z0bjqu3 said:
Good enough. Ok Any DECENT decent jokes. No politics or religion. Yes that means you!
OK - got a good one - you'll LOVE this...

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?















Cliff.

Never gets old, that.
 
Not hating, thank you for your contribution to the world of mirth and happiness that is this thread!

A lady playing pool balancing a tray of drinks on her head?








Beatrix Potter. There, see, all fine.
 
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