Death and do you fear it?
- Thread starter Alison
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i don't try not to ponder the thought of what happens after i die any more than the thought of what happened before i was born (unless i'm under the influence of a thought provoking substance).
what vexes me, is that sometimes (and in most instances this happens on my way to work) my life is often in the hands of some prat behind the wheel of a car/bus/lorry...etc
on the other hand, i have a son and another child due in april. i recently had the news that a chap who runs our local Gymboree (kids centre) died of a massive and very sudden heart attack (he was 34ish, marathon runner, non smoker etc). he left behind 2 twin sons and his wife gave birth to their daughter a few days after his death.
its a wonder we all dont run around like headless chickens/or sit doing nothing - paranoid that our time could hit any second now.
its all just so bloody random.
what vexes me, is that sometimes (and in most instances this happens on my way to work) my life is often in the hands of some prat behind the wheel of a car/bus/lorry...etc
on the other hand, i have a son and another child due in april. i recently had the news that a chap who runs our local Gymboree (kids centre) died of a massive and very sudden heart attack (he was 34ish, marathon runner, non smoker etc). he left behind 2 twin sons and his wife gave birth to their daughter a few days after his death.
its a wonder we all dont run around like headless chickens/or sit doing nothing - paranoid that our time could hit any second now.
its all just so bloody random.
greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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''its a wonder we all dont run around like headless chickens/or sit doing nothing - paranoid that our time could hit any second now''
I agree with the above........ i would like to know why ? because we will all die which can make all things we do futile.....or is it the fact that what most of us do in modern society ' is futile' like making another rich by working for low pay...........the owner's life isn't futile if your making him rich ....he'll be happy your slaving like a dog.
Like that chap in India who gave up his hotel empire to feed, wash, and shave the poor give comfort........now he has purpose and i doubt he feels his life is just ' killing time'
I agree with the above........ i would like to know why ? because we will all die which can make all things we do futile.....or is it the fact that what most of us do in modern society ' is futile' like making another rich by working for low pay...........the owner's life isn't futile if your making him rich ....he'll be happy your slaving like a dog.
Like that chap in India who gave up his hotel empire to feed, wash, and shave the poor give comfort........now he has purpose and i doubt he feels his life is just ' killing time'
greenstiles
Old School Grand Master
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As usual what we have learnt in a lifetime could be of great use, but only to a body that is not failing.......i guess i'm lucky i have always lived ''in the now'' and had many lives so far re-inventing myself now and then, now middle aged i would like to have the same buzz for life, but i don't at the moment, but anything to do with nature, mountains etc and i'll always feel like i've made it 
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I dont fear death at all myself, although i fear those dying around me especially my Children. I guess as you get older you deal with the death of those close to you and maybe it gets a little easier, hopefully in age order Grandparents and then parents.
As a father of two, if i die all i hope for is that my family have a few fond memories off me and can raise a cuppa in my memory and that my Wife greives for a few weeks before remarrying
But it would be nice to 'expire' like the film Gladiator if i must be honest.
And i know its a well used saying but enjoy each day because you just never know what may happen, so get those bike projects build and ride them
As a father of two, if i die all i hope for is that my family have a few fond memories off me and can raise a cuppa in my memory and that my Wife greives for a few weeks before remarrying
But it would be nice to 'expire' like the film Gladiator if i must be honest.
And i know its a well used saying but enjoy each day because you just never know what may happen, so get those bike projects build and ride them
I think that I'm like you, tbh. I can distinctly remember that hideous cold, creeping feeling up my spine when I used to think about it from when I was aged about five. As for you my mom used to say, if I asked her, 'oh don't worry about that' but, of course you do. The ony real way I used to be able to not think about it was to read a book until I fell asleep (and then ended up having to find my page again in the morning!) This pretty much stayed with me until I had my own children; probably because I was so busy then, and still am now, that I don't have time to think.
It's probably a mistake to think that your mom didn't think about it - we're all human - death is the only thing that really binds us all together - but it's a difficult thing to explain to children.
When my wife's mother died and left our five year old heart broken I went for a slightly different approach: I explained how children are a product of their parents and part of her mom and dad are part of her (all scientifically true - which made life easier for non-religious me ) - and that our parents are part of us and so on, and through that part of her nan was in her; seemed to make sense for her at the time.
Ultimately - I think you just have to keep yourself busy and think about other things. Worrying about it doesn't change it (and the alternative of immortality is fairly bad too when you think it through) and is just going to screw up the years you have to live. Easy to say though and we all think about it in our own way though.
It's probably a mistake to think that your mom didn't think about it - we're all human - death is the only thing that really binds us all together - but it's a difficult thing to explain to children.
When my wife's mother died and left our five year old heart broken I went for a slightly different approach: I explained how children are a product of their parents and part of her mom and dad are part of her (all scientifically true - which made life easier for non-religious me
) - and that our parents are part of us and so on, and through that part of her nan was in her; seemed to make sense for her at the time.Ultimately - I think you just have to keep yourself busy and think about other things. Worrying about it doesn't change it (and the alternative of immortality is fairly bad too when you think it through) and is just going to screw up the years you have to live. Easy to say though and we all think about it in our own way though.
My husband, which I've mentioned before cycles to work, he says he has no fear when he is cycling back and forth of having an accident or being killed at all and that he does not expect anything to happen to him. I on the hand do run around like a headless chicken for him if he is late home and always call at 7:30am to make sure he is safely at his desk. My main fear is that if he dies how would I cope with three young children, I would never be able to earn enough to pay for childcare when the youngest came home from school. I was in hospital a few years ago for four months and my husband was able to get government support at the time to have the youngest collected from nursery and looked after until 5:30 but they don't offer that anymore and that was for a known temporary measure. I do wish he had more fear in him as maybe he would be more observant of idiots, I'm sure he is observant but he could still be more.
Alison
Alison
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''Deaaaaaath!''
highlandsflyer
Retro Wizard
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Where does everyone get all this time to think about these things?
Bob Dylan was right.
Bob Dylan was right.
