I saw a nice psychologist recently who gave me some great simple advice.............he said '' it's fine and quite normal to have feelings and TEMPORY emotions of rage, hate, whatever, '' but '' watch your behavior ''
ie, feel the emotions.....pause ... but act appropriately.........so if i feel angry i can't just display it because to show anger usually means hitting something............but i can just say '' i'm angry and walk out the door'' calm down then resume when calmer..............
So every time now i say to myself, yup i'm in a rage, BUT what would the appropriate level of response really be........by asking myself that question, it seems to make me act better and less over the top.....
Best of luck, it's tough at times.