Rubbish joke thread
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I bought a really novel high-tech toaster the other week - you can even get the internet on it!
Had to take it back to the shop after a day or two as it seemed to be broken and the bread was getting stuck inside, but it turns out I'd just accidentally set it to disable pop-ups.
David
Had to take it back to the shop after a day or two as it seemed to be broken and the bread was getting stuck inside, but it turns out I'd just accidentally set it to disable pop-ups.
David
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me...
"How many potatoes would you like al?" I said "Ooh, I'll just have one please". She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you fat cow''
al.
"How many potatoes would you like al?" I said "Ooh, I'll just have one please". She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you fat cow''
al.
A piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and orders a drink. He then procedes to bost to the others in the bar about how hard he is. Some time later a piece of red tarmac walks into the bar and orders a drink; the piece of black tarmac ducks out the back and hides around the corner.
Later the piece of black tarmac returns and one of the people in the bar asks "why did you leave when the red tarmac walked in, I thought you were hard?", to which the black tarmac replies "I'm hard, but hes a cyclepath!"
I thangyou.
Later the piece of black tarmac returns and one of the people in the bar asks "why did you leave when the red tarmac walked in, I thought you were hard?", to which the black tarmac replies "I'm hard, but hes a cyclepath!"
I thangyou.
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Why couldn't the bicycle get up?
Because he was two tyred.
I thank you. :roll:
Because he was two tyred.
I thank you. :roll:
Wasmachineman NL
Senior Retro Guru
What do you call a door that doesn't open?
A wall.
A wall.
incorrigible
Senior Retro Guru
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A man gets home really late and very drunk one evening. He walks into his bedroom, arm-in-arm with a sheep.
His wife, who is already in bed, is clearly not happy.
The man declares loudly, "I just wanted you to see the pig I've been sleeping with."
His wife says "You drunken idiot! That's not a pig, it's a sheep!"
To which the man replies, "I was talking to the sheep."
His wife, who is already in bed, is clearly not happy.
The man declares loudly, "I just wanted you to see the pig I've been sleeping with."
His wife says "You drunken idiot! That's not a pig, it's a sheep!"
To which the man replies, "I was talking to the sheep."
