Careless teens - what to do? Now with new dilemma.

dbmtb":1498ygi3 said:

He does actually have 2 nice bikes (my old carbon road bike and a Specialized fully) at his disposal but he also knows there will be even bigger hell to pay if he uses them for anything other than proper bike rides.....

He did leave the carbon road bike at the station once - locked through the front wheel...... So actually this is THIRD time he's pulled a stunt like this. Luckily I noticed the road bike's absence before it was too late and I grabbed it from the station.

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Yeah, I built a slumming it bike out of leftover bits, my 'turd', hope + ceramic + folding wheels, ti skewers, XTR cranks, XT rear mech & shifters. It's my turd but in reality it's an amazing bike to 98%, it's all about perception and it's very difficult and probably not something he'll understand until he's much older.

if kids continually think they will be bailed out by their parents then they rarely have the stimulus to correct things themselves as the consequences do not effect them

I always found wether it be dogs, kids or people that worked for me ..in no particular order ...that it's easier to be hard from the beginning and cut some slack later than starting off slack and trying to be hard later

Your first job as a parent is not to be the kids best friend but to give them the social skills and that includes consequences ..so they can when the buggers finally leave home...have the skills to do the best they can.

Funnily enough it's only when kids leave home that you tend to get to know them better and many of the things you said to them as a child starts to make sense to them

The plot now thickens!

An elderly couple just came by the shop asking if I knew anything about the bike they had found 3 weeks ago. It's the first bike that was stolen....

So.... how do I deal with this with my lad? I mean the chances of the bike turning up were pretty small.... and I don't want him to think he can keep on pulling moves like this.

Suggestions chaps?

dbmtb":2icqg1fh said:

The plot now thickens!

An elderly couple just came by the shop asking if I knew anything about the bike they had found 3 weeks ago. It's the first bike that was stolen....

So.... how do I deal with this with my lad? I mean the chances of the bike turning up were pretty small.... and I don't want him to think he can keep on pulling moves like this.

Suggestions chaps?

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That's exactly what happened with my aforementioned stepson's scooter! It turned up at my toddler's child minder's house - I asked where they had got it and they said their next door neighbour had found it in his hedge! Turns out he had left it there, gone back a few days later and it wasn't there. He had bought it himself so we couldn't go too mad on him, but it drove us mad that he effectively was just throwing money around and didn't care. Your lad needs a bit more of a bollocking I fear, as well as something like selling the bike and putting the money to charity or something similar... He needs to learn the value of money and how lucky he is, something we're constantly battling with in our house - every birthday each of my steps (there's my toddler and my two steps 11yo and 15yo in my house) gets spoilt rotten as they have big extended families, they expect to get loads of cash and presents, it drives us mad! They don't ever really have to wait too long or work too hard to get what they want, so can be guilty of not caring about their possessions too much.

Do you mean that you suspect it wasnt stolen in the first place?

While I dont have kids myself (yet, I can hear that biological clock of hers ticking away... sounds like the timer inside a suspect package ) I have 2 older brothers both with a boy and a girl each, and they (respetive kids) could not be more different.

While son of eldest brother is lazy, absent minded, lax, carefree, unmotivated and generally a bit of a slob (his sister isnt, strangely.. she is lovely, polite and sensible), the son of the other brother whilst being spoilt by his extended grandparents and numerous aunties on his mothers side, he sees the value of things that he has and wants, to the point where he searches ebay and forums for things that he wants, his bike collection is all second hand, and whatever he wants, he automatically sells something to generate the cash. He has about 40 Scalectrix cars and a ton of track (about 30% of which is actually our old stuff from the 70's and 80's), but if he wants a new car, he will pool his resources and sell some of his old stock to get the cash. He regularly has about 15 things for sale on ebay at any one time



G

Oh it was stolen alright. There is someone in the village who just can't resist temptation, nicks a bike and then realises that they will get found out - and then dumps it somewhere. It's happened to a load of my customers (often just when they were about to buy a new bike from me !) so there's no suspicion on my lad.

He's a good kid so it would never occur to him to do something like this and the bike being stolen meant he had to walk a mile and a half home with a heavy school bag.

suburbanreuben":31623xj2 said:

Take away his phone, and it's like flipping a turtle on it's back...
It works!

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Brilliant! And yes, it does work!!!

I was going to suggest a folding bike to take on the train but seen as you got his bike back I would...

Give him his euros back and give him his bike back and tell him what a good kid he is! As I see it he must be a good un- he has gone to college without his bike and at 14 he could be the one nicking the bikes (or doing much worse)

Then say i'm keeping the ps3 etc til the end of the week because of your disrespectful strop and if your bike gets nicked again etc etc

dbmtb":25il0t12 said:

The plot now thickens!

An elderly couple just came by the shop asking if I knew anything about the bike they had found 3 weeks ago. It's the first bike that was stolen....

So.... how do I deal with this with my lad? I mean the chances of the bike turning up were pretty small.... and I don't want him to think he can keep on pulling moves like this.

Suggestions chaps?

Click to expand...

Nothing changes, its still the same scenario, he didn't lock the bike to protect it from being stolen and although it has been returned it was still nicked in the first place. You trusted him with the bike and it was his responsibility to look after it. He still needs to learn & appreciate the value of his belongings by earning the money to pay for them and not rely on handouts.

Showing my age

I remember my daughter was an adidas trainers freak, 32 pairs at the last count at that stage.

She broke a door in a huff and we told her she had to pay for it by chores, she refused. The next time she needed trainers instead of adidas three stripe she got woolworths 4 stripe

The pier group pressure was so shamefull she did get her finger out and earnt that new door