Rubbish joke thread

Kestonian":2voz09a1 said:

ringo":2voz09a1 said:

What do you call a man with a wooden head?
What do call a man with four wooden heads?
I don't know but I bet Edward Woodwood would!

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Why does Edward Woodward have so many d's in his name?
Because otherwise he would be called Ewar Woowar

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HEY! i was going to do that one!

REKIBorter":21rlmap2 said:

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

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anymore jokes about dyslexics and i'll report you to the DNA

(national dyslexic association)

Gravy Monster":1oa0xx6k said:

What do you call a man under a pile of leaves
.
.
.
.
Russel


What do you call a dead man under a pile of leaves
.
.
.
.
.
.
Pete

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OK, you've forced me to go to that dark, un-PC place with this series...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, in a bush?



Russell.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch?



Matt.


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the sea?



Bob.

what do you call a prostitute with no arms and no legs?


cash n carry

how do you make a hormone?






don't pay her. lawl

Dave was worried, Nigel had a knife...

Steve could have sworn the others were mocking his larger size...

Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

(It works better if you actually tell it and carry it on for 10 minutes)

What's brown and sticky? - A stick

What's brown and runny? - Linford Christie

What's pink and fluffy? - Pink fluff

What's green and smells of paint? - Green paint

What's orange and invisible? - No carrots

What's grey and heavy? - A carpark

What cheese can you use to disguise a small horse? - Mascarpone

What cheese can you use to attract bears? - Camembert

The other night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. I woke up and one of my giant marshmallows was gone!!!

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane?......
















The pilot, you massive racist.

I can go on like this all day.