Ebay dispute : am I being unreasonable ?

Hi,
Still desperate for a M950 BP front mech, i found one on ebay US. Asked for a shippping quote and accepted the 20usd quote, won the item and then nothing for 3 days, and in particular no notification that the item has been sent nor tracking number. I opened a dispute, the details of which are below, am I doing the right thing?

From Buyer
14/01/2010 09:43 GMT

"Hello Paul,

I have paid for the item and since then sent you 3 messages to ask you to confirm when it will be shipped and by which method.

You have decided not to reply to my messages, which I do not understand. If you have decided not to ship the item, please kindly refund the money. If you would like to tell me if and when it has been shipped and give me a tracking number, then I will stop this dispute.

Looking forward to hearing from you TODAY please.

Thanks

Nick SIMON

From Seller - Paul Pena
15/01/2010 02:31 GMT

Please pay $6.00 in additional shipping to cover the $26 cost to the UK. Item will ship when additional funds are received.

From Buyer
15/01/2010 09:07 GMT

Hello Paul,

You quoted me 20USD, which is ample. Clarify which payment method will cost 26USD.
Why did you wait for 3 days and 3 unanswered messages to let me know that ?
You have wasted 3 days without communication and now you want me to pay extra ? Dream on.
YOU should pay extra for a quicker shipping to compensate for your being unresponsive and slow, NOT me. I will ask you to ship now with a fast shipping method that will compensate for you being slow and pay for any extra. I want tracking number and details about shipping method within 6 hours or a full refund within 6 hours : your choice. Should you decide to comply with your commitment and with this request, you will NOT get negative feedback. Any deviations or slow communication from now will result in automatic negative feedback for highly unacceptable behaviour and blatant disregard for ebay rules. I hope my position is clear.
Kind Regards

Nick"

3 days is not a long time . It sometimes take me more time to get to po . unless ebay is your business I am happy to wait for a few more days .

$26 sound sexpensive for a front mech , except if it is with a courrier .

The guy quoted me 20USD PRIOR to the end of the auction and me even bidding. I would have happily paid 26USD if he had quoted that for a fast courrier. As it is, I could be paying 26USD and get it at Xmas.

You we're being unreasonable in opening a dispute after three days. But, the seller shouldn't be asking for $26, he could send that mech by USPS Priority Mail Flat Rate Box or Envelope for $13.45.

OK fair enough. Maybe it's because when I sell, I would, out of courtesy, reply within minutes rather than days, especially if I wanted to extract more money (which I would not do). I did send him 3 very polite reminders to keep me informed, to which he did not reply to, leaving me in the dark. The only way to make him react was the dispute. The irony is that he actually wanted more money from me and his way of asking for it was NOT to reply to my messages (which I have evidence he had received). How was I gonna guess he wanted more money ?

Postage is steep and its bad form to up it once the auction has ended. But 3 days is not long. I think it is fair to understand not everyones life revolves around ebay. And not everyone has 24/7 access to it either. To launch a dispute after 3 days was a little quick.

Maybe I shot myself in the foot out of a lack of patience (our out of too high expectations in people's level of education) and he is now taking the mickey on principle.
My life certainly does not revolve around ebay but I think if I did not have access to the internet daily (which clearly he has as he has been reading my messages every day and CHOSE to ignore them) I would not sell on ebay.

i think your principles are ok but your emails read rather agressive. probably wont encourage him to do you any favours if you make demands like you are.

Adding any extra terms or upping a price after a sale has been agreed is bad form. I would start a dispute, if you still have the message where he quoted $20 for postage.

I agree with you. He ignored you messages. Bad manners. Even a quick reply would have kept you happy on progress etc. His bad manners has made this a mountain from a mole hill.
If you haven't got time then don't buy/sell on the bay. I've left a negative and the guy couldn't be more helpful and is sending replacments.
don't pussy around. You may take a negative but so will he.
All had to do was post your mech and send you a message updating you. That is not hard.