I can see only one solution:
1. Find a dog
2. Dog must be rather big
3. All of you must go home. Few metres before you enter your home, and most probably see your wife connect the dog with Colnago frame using a leash.
4. Ring a doorbell
5. Say "hello" to your wife and say that you have just found a nice dog but unfortunatelly he was running away and you had hat to catch him. In result he had a small collision with a biker riding this Colnago framed bike and his leash stacked between crankset rings and could not be removed. Obviously you didn't want it as a set, but there was no choice (see the point 2, dog must be rather big)
5. That's it. Easy
My dog brings so many parts to our home.
1992 YETI Pro FRO - in progress...
1992 FAT CHANCE Monster Fat - riding every dry day.
1995 FAT CHANCE Buck Shaver - even less progress. Basically nothing but the frame
1995 Schwinn Cruiser DeLuxe - needs new air in tubes. Must be american.
1996 SANTA CRUZ heckler
2010 Electra Delivery