Does anyone have any good cycling jokes?
I'll set the ball rolling...
A devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. Cyclist asks if there are bicycles in heaven. Peter says "Sure, let me show you," and leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.
"This is great," the cyclist says. "You will love it here" says Peter. "You will be fitted to a custom track bike, the mechanics will glue on fresh silks each night, and your personal masseuse is always available." As they speak a blur flys by them on the boards riding a gold plated Cinelli and the cyclist says "Wow he was fast, that must be Eddy Merckx!"
"No," says Peter, "that was God, he only thinks he's Eddy".
A cyclist arrives for a club run on a new carbon speed machine.
"Hey, where did you get the new bike?", asks one of the group.
"Well," he says, "I was out on a ride when this really hot chick rode up alongside. We got to talking and one thing led to another and we stopped at a park. She suddenly stripped off and said, 'take what you want', so I took the bike."
"Good thing too," said the friend, "the clothes woudn't have fit."
Arms of a Sprinter, Legs of a Climber, Lungs of a Smoker
I cycle, therefore I am.