Coming home from a job in Swindon on Friday pm. Driving along the M3 towards Southampton and noticed a gold vectra weaving between outside and middle lane, undertaking cars and then cutting back in front of them. Didn't think too much of it other than shaking my head.
Pulled off onto the slip for the M27 and the traffic slowed up. Was crawling along the outer of 2 lanes then caught a glimpse of the Vectra driving along the hard shoulder. Next thing, a white van swerves out of the inside lane and twats straight into the front wing of my car!
We both stopped and I was gesturing to the van driver asking him what the f**k he thought he was doing. I then noticed that the Vectra had pulled up next to his passenger side and the vectra passenger was trying to smash his window witha golf club! The vectra then pissed off sharpish.
We pulled over to the hard shoulder to sort it all out (and the bloke behind me stopped as a witness).
I then got the story of what was happening from the van driver..... apparently, the vectra was being driven by 2 fat birds (his words, not mine) who had started throwing stuff (including glass bottles) at his van. He overtook them to try to get away but got caught in the traffic so pulled into the inside lane to just let them past.
The 'girls' pulled level and started shouting abuse at the van driver and his mate so the mate started waving a bag of pork scratchings at them (
This made them flip completely and drive up the hard shoulder to try to beat the van passenger with the golf club!
Had to wait by the side of the M27 for an hour waiting for the police to arrive but the whole pork scratchings bit has had me laughing ever since!