Baby worries

Barneyballbags · Jan 21, 2014

OK, so as some of you may or may not know, my girlfriend and I are expecting our first child in March

Now, as excited as I am at the prospect, I've now got to the stage where I'm starting to get REALLY worried about just how the hell we're going to manage financially ("you're not the only one", I hear you say).

I earn £17.5K - My girlfriend earns £18.5K. She has 6 months maternity leave where she will receive her full salary, and then it's a choice of her either going back to work full time/part time or not at all. All of our shared bills (including rent and food) come to £1500 per month, give or take a few £. We also have our own credit cards/store cards on top of that which we pay separately.

We don't have any support from family/friends as we live in Cardiff and the majority of our families live in either Worcester or Shrewsbury (so hardly what you'd call "around the corner"), and we can't move up that way as I have elderly grandparents who live on a farm down here that I visit every weekend to help out. So there is no option for us except to put our little 'un into nursery if my girlfriend goes back to work. And that costs a fortune. There is no way that we could afford to pay the nursery fees on our current salaries.

Has anyone been in a similar situation recently? It's really starting to stress me now, and it's not something I can talk about to my girlfriend as she's going through enough stress as it is and I don't want to add to it!

I've already started applying for second jobs but I'm not even sure whether that will be enough... Help!

Neil · Jan 21, 2014

Barneyballbags":1wimmzbx said:
OK, so as some of you may or may not know, my girlfriend and I are expecting our first child in March

Now, as excited as I am at the prospect, I've now got to the stage where I'm starting to get REALLY worried about just how the hell we're going to manage financially ("you're not the only one", I hear you say).

I earn £17.5K - My girlfriend earns £18.5K. She has 6 months maternity leave where she will receive her full salary, and then it's a choice of her either going back to work full time/part time or not at all. All of our shared bills (including rent and food) come to £1500 per month, give or take a few £. We also have our own credit cards/store cards on top of that which we pay separately.

We don't have any support from family/friends as we live in Cardiff and the majority of our families live in either Worcester or Shrewsbury (so hardly what you'd call "around the corner"), and we can't move up that way as I have elderly grandparents who live on a farm down here that I visit every weekend to help out. So there is no option for us except to put our little 'un into nursery if my girlfriend goes back to work. And that costs a fortune. There is no way that we could afford to pay the nursery fees on our current salaries.

Has anyone been in a similar situation recently? It's really starting to stress me now, and it's not something I can talk about to my girlfriend as she's going through enough stress as it is and I don't want to add to it!

I've already started applying for second jobs but I'm not even sure whether that will be enough... Help!

Have you looked into tax credits, and child benefit? Things like nursery fees can factor into tax credits, I think? I seem to remember that some nursery sessions were provided free - when mine were nursery age, it only applied after a certain age - and of note: it only applied during school term dates (doesn't seem to be something that is made that obvious, so often people get a nasty surprise at times) - but thought it was being brought in from much earlier ages, and for more sessions.

I suppose if you need to do a second job in terms of needs must - but otherwise, you're both going to be really tired, really stressed, and you'll probably have enough on your plates. That said, I realise, if you need to, it's not optional.

Barneyballbags · Jan 21, 2014

We've looked into Tax Credits and other benefits, but not in any great detail at the moment because a lot of it is dependent on our financial situation (which we won't know until baby is actually born and maternity leave/going back to work etc. is factored in).

I would quite happily get a second (part time) job if it meant that Helen could stay home and baby didn't have to go to nursery. The nursery fees are my biggest concern because they're hugely expensive, and it's money that we just don't have.

Pyro Tim · Jan 21, 2014

I'm in a similar boat mate. My 1st due in March too. Between my wife and I, we are on a little more than you, but not much. I've decided to bury my head in the sand, and deal with it when it happens. No point worrying about something you can't change. I'm sure I'll find a way, and I'm sure you will too

Pay off the credit cards, and get rid of them. Try and reduce your outgoings as much as possible. If that means less rent / mortgage, that's the way to go. I think the government will pay up to 70% of nursery fees due to your joint income

Barneyballbags · Jan 21, 2014

Pyro Tim":9mvdh8tv said:
I'm in a similar boat mate. My 1st due in March too. Between my wife and I, we are on a little more than you, but not much. I've decided to bury my head in the sand, and deal with it when it happens. No point worrying about something you can't change. I'm sure I'll find a way, and I'm sure you will too Pay off the credit cards, and get rid of them. Try and reduce your outgoings as much as possible. If that means less rent / mortgage, that's the way to go. I think the government will pay up to 70% of nursery fees due to your joint income

Paying off our credit/store cards is no.1 priority at the moment, and is something which we're basically pumping as much money into as we can afford! Do you know whether we need to apply to the Govermnent regarding the nursery fees? That would be a massive help.

Congratulations by the way

isitafox · Jan 21, 2014

Going off your joint salaries you won't get any tax credits but you will get child benefit which helps out a bit though by the sounds of it you're gonna be stretched to the limit if she finishes work altogether.
I'd have thought you would be able to manage if she returned to work part time, just cut back on non essentials and save on baby products. Things like Aldi (if there is one nearby) nappies and wipes are great money savers and the number one tip I would give not only to save some money but also do your child good would be breast feed and make your own meals when he/she starts on solids. Looking at the price of powdered milk and jars in the supermarkets makes me wonder why people buy them at all! Also I don't know your situation on things like prams/pushchairs/nursery furniture but don't feel pressured to buy brand new, the same goes for clothing. We buy loads of bits off ebay (still and our boys are 5 and 3) which saves a fortune as kids clothes are stupid prices.

Gruff · Jan 21, 2014

The best advice i ever got was from Citizens Advice. Quite often they will do all the searching for you.
Give it a go its FREE

Barneyballbags · Jan 21, 2014

We've got all of the essentials that we need (travel system, clothes, stockpile of nappies, cot bed and nursery furniture etc) - we were very lucky in that my girlfriend's sister has a 2yr old son, so we got given all the hand-me-downs which was great

Reading up a little bit on the government help with nursery fees, it sounds as if the best option might be for Helen to go back to work part time so that we can claim more in childcare benefits. I don't mind the money being tight (I've lived like that for as long as I can remember!), but I just need the money we're bringing in to be enough!

john · Jan 21, 2014

Sure you won't be the first or last, been there like many others. A few suggestions

1. Look into flexible working for one or both of you.
2. See if either of your employers does childcare vouchers (allows you to pay for childcare before tax)
3. Cut back on everything.
4. Sell all the cool things you own.

Barneyballbags · Jan 21, 2014

John":h8fcmf5x said:
Sure you won't be the first or last, been there like many others. A few suggestions

4. Sell all the cool things you own.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Baby worries

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