Prison? Young lad due?

Bpool77

Senior Retro Guru
Well I was just talking to a friend on the phone who's son is more than heading the way of a sentence (how he's got bail I will never know) I have spent a long time in some form or another behind a door closed scenario. Starting when I was 13 in what was called a secure unit (basically a child's prison) and he asked..
Will it help him?
Will it stop him?
What will happen to him?
Will he get raped?
What should I do?

My views on experience are no it will not work, it's the person who needs to change.
As above? If he ends up there, use it get a trade ( plentyfull ) out of it and then given what skills he's adopted, get him a job.
He will change? depending on the prison and region.You learn to respect people.
No homosexuality is a no in prison. Rape is very rare and if it was to happen the rapists would need to be placed on a protection. A wing for there own protection and "treatment" .
I don't know? your his dad he's your son living in a no opportunities town? So at least if he does go he can get a trade? Mechanic I say? Then maybe (we know mechanics) he can get a trade that will always be there?

I know there's prison officers and police officers on here and I would genuinely like your input but if this lad goes the way I went x amount of years later life's gone, and he hasn't got a wealthy enough family to give him bonds for flats bail outs pocket money ect? Hmmm?

And grabbing him bye the scruff doesn't,hasn't worked.
 
It may change him if like you say he wants to change.
You appear to have taken a path that suits you that isn't a criminal life so you probably know more than anyone else the effort required to change and the drivers behind it.
The trade like you say is good, I would think Sparky or Plumber, then he may have to work hard but the rewards are good, where mechanics are not and at least he will be able to see a future filled with the things he wants (probably wife, house, kids and cars).

Carl.
 
His future isn't bright I'm sorry to say, I feel for this lad he's one of my oldest pals lad, but I see him as a pal he's 21 now we're mates he comes to me for advice and help (money :facepalm: ) I've always made sure he's got a roof and looked after him. He has no respect for his father and has beaten him up before now as he's got tall but they have issues and they always will.
It's just a shame to see a young life to go to waste, he's smart very good looking and the world could be his oyster as they say.
The force is strong in this one.... :D
In general I have no compassion but my pal phoning me (whilst in Spain and he's tight as f...k) has upset me as I'm not there to man hug and throw a few quid at it and to deal with things?.
 
If you were there what could you do? You can lead a horse to water.

Short of removing him from all temptation/threats? Not many places of isolation these days.
 
True true and true, god knows what I could do? I usually, open the door at stupid o'clock let him in chat shite tell him to smoke his stinky shite out the back and throw him the quilt. Morning he's hungry (always) take him for breaky let him abuse my phone while he sorts his kaos out then adios till next time?

This time though he's smashed his dad's windows in as his dad wouldn't let him in? Plus he's on bail for being a tit.
My brother fabricates horse boxes and knows him. I've asked if he will take him on train him give him a reference for court etc he said no as he hasn't got the time to train someone but he will take him on if I cover the costs? My bro is straight as they come won't employ him if he's claiming dole and smoking shite.


Dilemma.
 
He wants a nice straight bird to fall in love with, he'd hop to wolverhampton for the right one, too drunk with her to ufckabowt.
 
Keep your fingers crossed.

Smoking weed can often sap ambition & make it easier to avoid responsibility.
 
Enviroment is a big factor and if it comes down to it you have to be prepered to up sticks and shift the entire family, yourself and a new job if that is what it takes to save the family unit for the next 50 years and beyond

People i knew are either living in dire sh*t now with massive mental health and addiction problems or they overdosed and that was that.
It is a blow at the time but time moves on and you realise its the years that have been lost and that makes it such a terrible loss.
All of those that died in their 20's(M8's GF was 18 when septicemia took her one morning)

I hate to admit it but the reason is they just could not leave their environment and always ended up in the same circumstances. The surrounding faces changed but i was by then standing further and further away,i could see and predict the outcome and that not associating with (them) was the key to their survival.

Drink and drugs in any and all forms can be a crutch and make it all seem worthwhile but it is a bucket of sand and fuddles your mind and saps your ambitions( Crumbs just noticed ctk :LOL: Must be subliminal eh ? ;) )

Ill say its not just moving away from the influences of 'friends' real and otherwise . The otherwise are in the same situation but are gathering together as it helps them ignore the real issues they are facing. The problems are feeding off each other and the only way to crack that is to take a first step in removing yourself from these kind of groups
Then of course is the biggie and that is the goal to reach. Strangely enough it was the bicycle that got me out of the rut and path i was in . I started using it to courier ***** around the city, the guy i did this for paid for the bike(Cheaper than the usual transport and a bit less conspicuous) but as time went and the fitness increased id be cycling for fun and really pushing myself to the limits. A route of mine was 22ml and id do that standing up , non stop the whole distance.
Started meeting a lot of people with drive and i think it also rubbed off and reinforced my own. I started looking for community projects to do and became very driven.
Im shit at explaining stuff :oops:

Ive watched happen and found a number of dead friends and acquaintances over the years and they all shared the same problem of never leaving their initial friends group. I left and made it(Well in a fking manner of speaking :LOL: ) The influence friends hold over your kids can at times be stronger than yours :?
 
This is a really sad story and it sounds as if he has really relied on you in the past to sort him out, but he is in a circle he can't get out of? You've been there for him but he stills keeps going back to his old ways anyway?

Perhaps, unfortunately, it is no longer your problem, however much you want to help him, it's the old chestnut, he has to want to change himself? I couldn't agree more with what DynaTi says, and fantastic for him that he broke the cycle (so to speak!)

Having experience of an ex that smoked weed, I went on for ages thinking it was me that had a problem with wanting him not to do it any more. Everyone was like, for god's sake get over it, it's only a bit of pot, what's your problem? But it really truly did wreck my life and his, as he won't stop, if I hadn't got out I would have been on the downward spiral with him....

Perhaps prison will give him a trade, a short sharp shock, and most importantly break the habit??
 
Weed is a f*cking awful drug, I used to smoke enough of it to know. Totally robs you of any motivation and turns days into months into years very easily. Along with the loss of memory, mood swings, and ability to turn a problem in reality into a memory after a few puffs, it really is a shitty friend to have!

And people say it's harmless! Personally I rank it higher than coke, smack or anything else as a problem. So many kids smoke it these days it's frightening. If you have problems, you need to face them straight, weed just delays the inevitable.

Keep trying with him mate, at some point you will make a difference, you may already be doing that.
 
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