Works xmas 'outing' about 5 years ago. I'd given the vodka some hammer before I even got to the restaurant, because I hated these occasions. I'd decided to go home around 10ish, and was aiming to drink just enough to survive until then. Clearly I misjudged the amounts, because when a colleague asked at around 9:45 if I was up for an adjournment to the local 'nightclub', I said yes.
I can't begin to describe how soul-destroyingly awful this venue was, but imagine where Vicky Pollard might go on a Friday night. The name of the 'club' was painted on a 12-foot leopard-print
sign ffs. The bouncers were neanderthal, the floor was coated with adhesive residue, and the DJ was probably about 15. Under these environs, I obviously had to drink more to compensate.
The last thing I remember is trying to carry two drinks from the bar and walking into someone, followed by the sound of breaking glass. Then there's a brief flash of pulling up outside my house in a taxi, trying to pay the driver and being told that I'd already paid, to the sound of hysterical laughter from the back seat. My next memory is waking up at 8:00 the next morning on my doorstep, with the postman stepping gingerly over me. I had no keys in my pocket, and had to knock at my landlord's house (next door) for a spare doorkey. He looked at me very oddly when he opened his door, which I put down to my massive hangover, until I entered my own house and glanced in a mirror to see that I was wearing mascara, eyeliner and lipgloss.
But none of these events were that
uncomfortable, really. No, the real discomfort came when I entered the office on Monday, and not one single person who had been out that night, spoke to me. I have no idea to this day what I actually did, or attempted to do, in that accursed place, but it was at least 2 months before the girl who I'd been sharing a desk with for over a year, and was good friends with for even longer, would speak to me.
I don't tend to drink much when I go out, now.
...pretend here is reality, and not some expectant itch of july...