She may not want to talk to you or your husband but may be able to talk to a counsellor knowing thats its in confidence and can't be repeated to anyone including you.
Sorry, but that's not true. You'd be surprised at just how much that's said "in confidence" to teachers, doctors, school guidance counsellors etc is reported up the chain, whether or not that action is actually likely to help the person in question.
That's something that worries me, I went to the GP for myself, who referred me to a psychologist, who insisted I saw a psychiatrist, who made an assessment then asked to see me and my husband together, I never went home for another 4.5 months, I was sectioned. Everything just went completely out of my control so quickly, I've been a little afraid of them since.
I don't think it's overreacting to seek professional help over your child self-harming - especially as it seems like a 2nd generation problem, too.
Thing is, are you projecting your own history and worries / anxiety on the situation? You may well be able to speak to somebody, first, without dragging her into it. But given you've had such issues, and now your daughter does, I wouldn't let it slide. People often think they know best, when the reality can be farm from the truth.
I'm not saying that healthcare professions and similar never get things wrong, nor overreact - but all the same, try to put yourself outside the situation for a second, be objective, ignore history, and think what's best for your daughter.
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