I forgot to mention - in all seriousness - for God's sake, for the child's sake, and for your sake, (and I apologize if this seems like mere common sense, but) don't take advice about raising a child from someone who's never done it.
And I mean this not only when dealing with a newborn, but at any stage of a child's life.
Advice from a mom is OK if you need parenting advice in general, but if you want advice about being a dad, ask someone who has actually been, or is currently, a dad; no-one else. In fact, get several opinions from several dads and then make your decision.
I say this from the experience of having been a child whose parents took advice from people (whether ill-intentioned or not, whether they had ulterior motives or not) that had never raised children of their own.
Myself, I'll never get over it.
I don't blame my parents for being naive; I blame their "friends" who had motives and agendas of their own.
Sorry for the rant, but since you asked...
There's something to that - but all the same, when I had kids, I decided to largely ignore people - I'd hear what they say, take it with a pinch of salt, but largely do my own thing. Whatever I did do, had to make rational sense to me, rather than just buying into somebody's opinion or their dogma.
Rational sense was implied when I said "make your decision", but not stated explicitly. My bad. My line of thinking is that dad's all over the world have been raising kids since the beginning of humanity, so if advice is what one is seeking
, then it's in one's best interest to ask enough dads and see if there is a majority or general consensus, which would tend to indicate that such a consensus is probably
fairly rational advice, but in the end, of course, it's the OP's own
decision to make.
"Take it with a pinch of salt" (i.e., "consider the source") is also great advice for anyone asking for advice about anything IMHO. Call it dogma, opinion, ulterior motive, agenda, or whatever - everyone that gives advice will be influenced by their own experiences, attitudes, and emotions; and the "pinch of salt" will hopefully enable the one who asks for and receives advice to filter out the potentially bad advice.
In any case, it appears from the popularity of this thread that there's no shortage good advice from well-intentioned dads who have no motive other than to help the OP by giving him the benefit of their experience, and for that, I'm happy.
Not really sure it warranted a rant, really?
All I was saying is that many think it's a good idea to canvas opinions, and cherry pick. Thing is, you'll often get conflicting opinions from different people - all very convinced - often with nothing other than dogma support it.
Me? Well I didn't go canvassing opinions, but I listened to what people had to say - many I ignored, some I maybe took it on board, but if I'm honest, I largely just ignored it all - but the actual parenting? I think most sort it out for themselves.
There's some factors where hearing what people can have to say can make sense - good products, bad products. But then, really? Not sure - practically most threads on most subjects will have people contradicting each other.
As to the actual dealing with a baby? Well nothing trumps actual hands-on doing. Learn by doing. And my only true point on that, is don't be put-off, discouraged from being able to do everything, right from the off - even when they're still in hospital.
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